there is quote from one of my favourite films, batman to be precise. Goes along the lines of "Either you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain". I've always seen it in a different light to most. Way I see it in relation to myself is if I had died the first time when I tried to kill myself I would have been seen in a better light by the people in my life. Now the fact I have survived and have survived multiple times now the people in my life have become resentful and distant. Almost if the trust is gone and they no longer believe they can continue to stay connected with somebody who is forever trying to end himself. I get it, I mean it must hurt them to see me give up time after time. Bit like the Boy who cried Wolf in many ways, its as if they don't believe in me to get over my problems ever and have given up. These feelings also remind me that I do care about what people think of me, even at my lowest points self worth is still important to me on some basic level.