I've attempted a few times, needless to say I wasn't successful. There are days I'm glad I did fail at my attempts.
I have my moments where I slip into that darkness and feel like ending myself. To be honest, I haven't felt like that in a while...my last attempt was in November. I've found ways to cope without being on anti-depressants...I found that those make me physically ill and unlike my real self...I'd much rather talk through my feelings with my therapist. She suggested something to me that has helped. It's a lot of work but I give myself little things to look forward to, like an excuse to delay. I save a little money here and there and treat myself to things that I once found happiness in, I do that in hopes of recapturing that happiness. For example, I'll plan a trip out of town for a weekend or a few days. It's weird, but I find a lot of happiness being at an airport, the anticipation of going some place!
Lately, I've had those feelings again...and I decided to plan another trip, something I've never done because I've never been able to afford it. So for now I'm in delay mode...well until October at least...
I know I can't do this forever, but I will try for as long as I can...
I have my moments where I slip into that darkness and feel like ending myself. To be honest, I haven't felt like that in a while...my last attempt was in November. I've found ways to cope without being on anti-depressants...I found that those make me physically ill and unlike my real self...I'd much rather talk through my feelings with my therapist. She suggested something to me that has helped. It's a lot of work but I give myself little things to look forward to, like an excuse to delay. I save a little money here and there and treat myself to things that I once found happiness in, I do that in hopes of recapturing that happiness. For example, I'll plan a trip out of town for a weekend or a few days. It's weird, but I find a lot of happiness being at an airport, the anticipation of going some place!
Lately, I've had those feelings again...and I decided to plan another trip, something I've never done because I've never been able to afford it. So for now I'm in delay mode...well until October at least...
I know I can't do this forever, but I will try for as long as I can...
You said you're trying; I am proud of you for that! Sometimes, I look forward to going out to places I don't go often as well, in that I prefer a pleasant change of scenery every once in a while.