Ways to help a loved one

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by epson97, Feb 2, 2015.

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  1. epson97

    epson97 New Member

    Hi all.

    My current girlfriend of 3 months has had some form of depression for around three years. About six months ago she opened up to me, and later a few members of her family, however in the past couple of weeks her condition has seemed to have gotten worse.

    She has had the courage to book an appointment at the doctors for herself and has been taking anti depressants for a number of months now, however there have not been any real improvements. Her depression is only really triggered when she is not occupied but I am not able to be with her all of the time. She has recently spoke about ending our relationship, but I feel that this is a way for her to distance herself from myself as it may be easier for her to attempt suicide.

    Her depression is one that I am finding hard to help with as it is mainly triggered by cruel things that are happening around the world, mainly animal abuse. I have listened to her on many occasions and tried a number of things that have helped her temporarily by taking her mind off of things. She is very adamant that her condition will not improve as she is consistently reminded via the internet and social media about cases of animal abuse that make her life feel worthless. I have suggested things such as helping out others, or volunteering at an animal shelter to allow her to make a difference to the problems she is very concerned about, but this is met with a response that is along the lines of it will not help the problem in any way.

    Has anybody had any experience with a case like this, or have any tips on how I could possibly help?

  2. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. I think your idea of her helping out at a rescue is a good one. Maybe a wildlife rehab would be better? If she still refuses to go I have no idea what might help. I know the internet is full of horrible abuse and neglect but there are more people doing good out there.

    With her being so adamant about how nothing will help is she taking her meds? She may be at a point where she needs to be where she is supervised until the meds can help or they find some that will. Being hospitalized may not be the worse thing for her.

    TY for caring and wanting to see her through this. Sometimes we get so sucked up into the darkness of our own thoughts that no matter what they do the loved ones around us cannot reach us without help.
  3. epson97

    epson97 New Member

    She has been taking meds for a few months now, and the only noticeable difference since she has started taking them is that she says she is unable to feel emotion. Her illness is not really visible and I believe her depressions sets in mainly of a night time.

    She no longer lives with her parents and I feel that there is maybe also a sense of loneliness creeping in. I will definitely research in to professional help for her and discuss this with her as we do speak very openly about it at times.

    Thank you for your help
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    joining in animal causes and petitions and charities could definitely help
    horses' idea about wildlife rehab sounds cool
    has she got other friends? on or off line?
  5. epson97

    epson97 New Member

    She does have a lot of people that she considers to be her friends, especially at her university. I have suggested that she spends more time with them but she does not like to be around them for too long. The only time she really socialises with any her friends is on a night out of a weekend.

    Would making some of her friends aware of her problem in a subtle way help at all?

    She has asked me not to tell any of her friends, but I feel that if some of them knew that she was feeling a bit down then this would help.
  6. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    I would try other things first. It sounds like she has a lot of trust in you. Telling others of her friends might cause her to no longer trust/talk to you. If you cannot do anything else that might help then try it. It sounds like she is pretty miserable the way things are.
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