We all agree that suicide is bad but...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by WhateverDan, Feb 10, 2012.

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  1. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member

    If I get diagnosed with a disease that's going to kill me, would it be okay to have a feeling of satisfaction and relief?

    I've always wondered this, peoples opinions on it I mean.

    Technically it's win/win, I get what I want and no-one has to be bummed out that I "took the easy way out" or any of that nonsense.
  2. Fredericks

    Fredericks Well-Known Member

    I have the same thought: it gets you out of life without any of the guilt or people getting upset at you. If you die of a physical rather than a mental disease, suddenly it's not "your fault." I've had hopes of getting cancer or in a massive car wreck or something, just so nobody had a reason to get mad at me when I died.
  3. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member

    It's such a relief to see that I'm not the only one here that feels this way :) thanks for the reply.
  4. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Tough Stuff. I used to think, no problem. If someone is terminal, suffering, or losing mental faculties yeah let them choose when to go. I still feel it is personal choice but something else has now entered my thinking.

    I've watched people. For instance I cared for someone with Lou Gehrig's (ALS) who wanted to be there right up to the end, to be there for her children. Communication was a bear. Blinks. Took forever. Yet, she found purpose and meaning in her life. I watched her family and friends. They seemed to need the process. My close friend is confined to a special bed due to paralysis. He finds meaning. Not long ago I watched someone suffer a horrible death from a painful condition. It was a process. A process for him and process for those who were living. Those living needed that process as painful as it was. I'm unsure if an abrupt death would have been better or if he too needed that process he went through to say goodbye, to let go, to reflect, to move on. I don't know. Perhaps that process is also emotionally painful I dunno. The depth of compassion was palpable, from those living. Amazing people (friends/relatives of mine). *tears* me now. Compassion too can come from letting go, i suspect. If someone chooses to leave, compassion can mean letting them go.

    Who should decide? Who should be given that choice? Should we not all have this choice, one based on our own assessment of our life experience? I dunno. I don't think your feelings or thinking is nonsense though. We are all individuals with our own unique situations, experiences, feelings, and cannot, and must not, force each other into a single mold.

    Those who left abruptly, even those with goodbyes, I dunno i don't think i'm ready to ponder that.

    I've watched someone fighting with everything for their life, hooked to heart/lung machine...not pretty. I saw the look in his young children's eyes when told father was going to be dead in the morning. He made it. Was one hell of a fight though. He even had to fight the living who were ready to write him off :( damn. Have a couple friends in somewhat similar situ's now.

    I've observed closely animals, not only dying but mothers who have lost a child. Interesting observations.

    anyway, my thoughts for whatever they are worth
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I feel this way too. Since my neighbour killed himself I've had to reconsider my own options, and now instead of thinking about my method all the time I've found that I'm just wishing I was dead and hoping my medical condition will get worse or hoping for a car crash. Been close to a high-speed car crash in the last few weeks and cannot describe the disappointment that it didn't come to anything.

  6. corbins

    corbins Member

    Every time I cross a street, I pray that the car slowing down will suddenly speed up and hit me. You're not alone, buddy.
  7. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    That's how I am. I often hope when I'm outside. When I cross the street I think "please car just come around the corner and hit me" or when I go to a bank "please let someone decide to shoot it up and the bullet just hits me." Where I work it's a blah end of town so I often think about how if one of those druggies or homeless could just kill me. Then it would be a death I wish for everyday but I also didn't 'take the easy way out.'

    It's a normal thing to think, I know others who think the same thing too.
  8. vir

    vir Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I was discussing with another member here, that there needs to be some condition like hypochondria, where you hope that every little ache and pain you have is a fatal disease. Or where you start eating things because a report comes out that they cause cancer, and stop eating things when studies come out that they prolong your life.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm at the age that I feel I am close to death.. I have been smoking a pack a day for 44 years.. I know my lungs are shot..I'm just waiting for cancer to take over..I will refuse treatment..
  10. vir

    vir Well-Known Member

    I read an article once about why people smoke, and one of the lines from it was "we can assume that everyone wants to live a long and healthy life" and I immediately thought, wow, must be nice living inside that bubble.
  11. WhateverDan

    WhateverDan Member

    Many thanks for the responses on this topic , it has left me with much to ponder. Apologies for my assumptions as well, I accept that they were broad, misinformed and inaccurate in cases.

    If only there was a "viagra" for depression lol, something to keep your mood "up", I welcome delusion but it becomes increasingly difficult to manufacture over time. There's a definite mental deterioration going on in my mind, years of formally self directed hate and anger is now spewing outward but I'm weak and pathetic so I feel that others are safe, although still I threaten them. It saddens me that after 10 years of this misery my mind is telling me to punish others but its just reach that point where something must be done. I just don't want to accept what that is because I know its suicide.
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