we are all going to die anyway

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by blue.fear, Aug 24, 2008.

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  1. blue.fear

    blue.fear Member

    i fell panic for most of the day, daily. when im not in panic im depressed. there is no point, there is no future. i cant even move. i'm turning into a stone. please let me go away forever. i cant stand this anymore
     
  2. Mainax

    Mainax Active Member

    What are you panicked about blue ?
     
  3. blue.fear

    blue.fear Member

    It comes and goes.. Im afraid i'll have no future, that i'll be forever in fear
     
  4. Satine

    Satine Member

    It's okay, hun, don't let the future worry you so much.

    The future has so many possibilities and avenues, many of which you are able, in the present time, to alter the way you want it.

    But the daunting thing about the future is that there's an awful lot of it, and it extends in many, many ways. So the first thing you need to do is think about what you want. If you just want to be happy, then decide what would make you happy. And it doesn't have to be a good job, or a big house, or whatever. It only need be something simple, like following a hobby.

    Right now, to me, the thing that would make me happiest is to sit down and write more of my story. Simple, easy to do. Aside from that, I just need to take reasonable care of my job and my home. A bit of work, a bit of cooking and cleaning... Simple.

    If you feel daunted, just start small. Nobody else need tell you what you should want.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If you need to talk hun, please feel free to PM me :hug:
     
  6. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    It does feel pointless, trying to take each day as it comes is the healthiest option, fearing the future can become a real strain, the only time we have control is the present moment. The present is all you have got, finding some little enjoyment, a hobby perhaps.
     
  7. blue.fear

    blue.fear Member

    nothing gives me pleasure in life. there is nothing to look forward to. sometimes i feel panic, and it turns into anger against my body - why is it so hard to kill it? i feel that at each passing day i'm more prone to kill myself. its gonna happen sooner or latter and that panics me as well as it calms me. thats it, i have nothing else. everything else makes me feel sick. i want to bleed till i die...
     
  8. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    you took the words right out of me.
     
  9. Satine

    Satine Member

    There will always be more future, no matter how much you worry, so why worry? Blue Fear, did you ever enjoy anything as a kid?
     
  10. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You have friends and family right. Your not alone and you certainly have a future.
     
  11. blue.fear

    blue.fear Member

    as a child i saw everyone else as idiots. i'm now sure of that. the cause of my death will be suicide. its a matter of time. i'll never find anything that i want to do, or that i enjoy, and i'll never find an enviroment that i like living. its just survival, its not life. i'm dead already anyway. i hate people. i hate what i do. and i would hate anything else anyway. so im just going to try anti-depressants and if it doesent work i'm going to kill myself. why keep living a life you dont want to live? do i even have a choice either way?
     
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Are you sure you will never find anything you want to do? Maybe you just haven't tried enough things that you might like? Why do you hate people so much? Have you had some bad experiences with people, or do you just hate people in general. Suicide is the worst thing that you can possibly do to yourself.
     
  13. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    There's a branch of depression called Melancholic depression. It is arguably the worst, because it never lets you feel happy, even doing things you enjoy. You should at least wait a few months to try out a few anti-depressants as necessary first. They take a few weeks to start working, and which ones will work is different person to person. Prozac made me worse, but Zoloft a bit better.
     
  14. blue.fear

    blue.fear Member

    thanks for the kind words guys. i'm better now. my psych gave me xanax. i'm supposed to take the pink pill everytime i feel a botomless pit of hopelesness, frustration and anger opening beneath my feet - basicaly everyday i guess. i feel really good now. and to think that i was about to kill myself over this... now it looks like such a senseless thing to do... thank you pharmaceutical industry!
     
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