We could end up HOMELESS.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheLonelyAloePlant, Aug 23, 2008.

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  1. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    My mom is single with two kids (me and my little brother).

    She leaves her cellphone at home, which receives emails. Everytime you click on the icon, it shows the most recent email.

    It's from our renter, who wants extra payments for no reason.

    My mom goes on to say "I don't have enough money to take the kids school shopping.." and "I'm a single mom with no child support, I'm scraping to pay the bills.."

    The guy wants and extra 2000$ a year for the damned house and my family has nowhere to go outside of my grandmother's (literally) rotting house. We'd either be homeless or living off my grandparents' money, which leaves them with less money.

    My mom needs a husband to help her, and keep her company, and help us with the bills or we'll end up living from relative's house to relative's house, or at a shelter.

    godfuckingdamnit. why does he need extra money? he's out lounging by the ocean doing nothing on the other side of the country and HE needs more money? we're struggling to buy groceries and cat food! he's get pampered by his relatives while we struggle to stay out of debt.
    i've started to starve myself just to save my mom money. i've been eating water and frozen peas, and sometimes rice.
    I've considered telling my mom not to get me anything for my birthday and spend the money she might have spent and use it toward herself, to go to the spa. she needs more presents than i do..

    I started crying when I read the email. i don't want to end up on the streets..
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm a single mom too. I can tell you one thing your mom really needs. That's you to keep loving and supporting her and being there for her. She doesnt need any presents hun, she already has two you and your brother. How wonderfully generous of you to think of her and not your own needs. Trust me, just knowing that you are helping her anyway you can does more for her than you'll ever know.
  3. .......

    ....... Guest

    He can't do that. There are rules as to what landlords can charge- here in the UK at least. Is your mom under a legal contract? Look at the contract. He has responsibilities and you have rights. He can't just charge you that much money out of the blue or increase the rent if what you're paying is typical for the size of accommodation and the area etc.

    What he's doing sounds legally questionable.

    Encourage your mother to seek advise either from UK equivalents of the council, homeless charities, and look up information on the 'net regarding your area and landlords- because what he's doing sounds wrong and you shouldn't be going through this.

    Look into the laws regarding tenants and landlords. I'm sure he can't do this.

    I'm so sorry to hear you're under so much stress though. He sounds disgusting but if you get the right people on your side, and know what you're entitled to, you won't be kicked out...
  4. ........

    ........ Guest

    Ask your landlord to write what he wants down in writing.

    Most probably he won't do it. You don't have to pay him anything extra if you are keeping up with your rent otherwise. You don't have to move anywhere.

    And if he chooses to evict you, and I doubt that, you have it down in writing (it's important you get this down on paper and not just verbally) what he wants- and the people doing the eviction process will see what he's doing.
  5. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend


    And what would also be very important to your mum is believing that you (and your brother) do have a better future - Mums will go through anything for their kids (and I am sure she will get through these immediate tough times - Mums are very resourceful!!), but always a lot better for anyone going through tough times if they beleive that the future will be better. for their kids if not for themselves (albeit no reason why not for your mother as well - once she has got the 2 of you sorted and on your way in life).

    And a lot of that "better future" comes down to......you. Perhaps unfairly, but how it is.

    How? the key for you and your brother will be making the most of all your educational opportunities (and for that you do not have to be the brightest in the world - sheer hard work will get you a long way, as well as seeking opportunities instead of waiting for them), also not getting a criminal record (impacts on your later earning ability) and avoiding drugs (impacts on your ability to obtain a worthwhile education and therefore later earning ability - even if never caught). As well as being essential for your future being different from your mother's it will also help her immensely. every day of every year.

    Of course good old fashioned chores around the house will help a lot :rolleyes:. And telling her you love her.

    I dunno how old you are (or whether male or female) but sounds like your circumstances have led to a lot of growing up already.....so I will also add that you really really need to avoid having babies at a young age. 100 times more important for a female, but still applicable to a bloke. The last thing your mother needs is to be a young grandmother.......as 3 guesses who a lot of that burden will fall on, including financially.

    Finally, I will add that whilst a man may help your mother emotionally and financially - it is far better to be financially independent of anyone else, which does not mean rich - just a job / career that allows you to do more than simply survive. Try and remember that as your long term goal.........

    Sounds like you have a lot to deal with. As I said already, maybe not fair - but it is what it is........
  6. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    I'm 14 years old- and a girl.
    I clean the dishes, do my laundry, vacuum the couches, wipe the counters.
    I'm trying to maintain a straight edge lifestyle so I don't cost my mom anything.
  7. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    I would have sent you a PM. But you are a 14 yo girl and I am a 40 yo bloke - so that ain't a good idea:laugh:.......but, good stuff on helping around the home. Every little does help and keeping the "straight edge" is good. It may all sound a little dull or not important. But it is a big thing for your Mum.

    To be honest, you sound like you have already put a lot of good thought into things already. And I take my hat off to you for thinking about Mum's well being, especially in practical terms. Many folk your age (and younger) get the luxury of taking things for granted - as I said in previous post, yer circumstances have no doubt led to a lot of growing up already......but like most things in life, their are plusses as well as minuses to that......

    ........although still to early for you to 100% decide and commit to decisions for your future - always good to have a plan and some dreams for the future. They do not all have to be 100% realistic, but important to have stepping stones along the way........whether you are aiming to be an Astronaut, an Accountant or a Teacher etc still involves going through the same educational process for a few years yet - even if it does mean making a few choices on subjects / interests along the way. As your edcuation progress the odds are that your plans and dreams will change or at least be refined. Although really great if in later life you settle down with a husband and a couple of kids, that should not be your sole ambition. Being able to financially provide for yourself - without relying on others - should be.

    I am not entirely sure how the US education system works, but my advice is to stay in it as long as you possibly can - and if this is not as long as you want or need for your future, return to education as soon as you can (which is not always the same as when you feel like it / want to! - a lot of "education" can be a bit dull :tongue:). When at school, it may be that working hard is not "cool" (depends on the School) and you may get some aggro from freinds / associates - but a really important thing to remember is that this is oh so temporary! It just may not seem like it. Most of these folk you will never see again once you have left school. Or only briefly, like when visiting a Drive in McD. and you are the Customer. in your own (paid for) car - education also gets you stuff :cool: but mainly it gets you better opportunities. As well as education teaching you "stuff" (dates and formulas etc) the more important goal is to teach you how to think for yourself. and to also help you discover the world, to raise your ambitions from your immediate experiances / current world and to help you recognise and seize opportunities for yourself. Not of course to say that you can't think for yourself already - I would not be that rude! and clearly you are more ahead of the game on the thinking stuff and being self aware than many other 14 yo. But you are still only 14 - that sounds impolite to say. But it is true as their is a lot more that is possible to come - and IMO that is a good thing - if it wasn't true The President and Teachers would be 14:tongue:. but it don't come from simply getting older / simply moving up class years (Grades?). It needs working at as well. Plenty of older people who remain as dumb as donuts :laugh:- essentially from choice, not from a lack of mental capacity. Plenty of people get through education and into well paid jobs who are also simply not very bright!.......and many bright people are also not very good at their jobs. It's a funny old world! Essentially what I am saying is simply because you may not be a straight A student does not mean that you can't grasp opportunities from education.

    I would also add, for getting a good education - especially if you are in a school not known for the high achieivements of most of the pupils is to be nice to the Teachers (yeah, I know :sad:). They spend most of their time trying to teach folk who are not greatly interested in learning - at least part of the reason they got into teaching was to help change peoples lives through the power of education. Probably lucky if they meet 1 such pupil a year. many (most?) want to have a positive impact on a pupils life / future - so you are not trying to get something that they do not want to provide. so make that pupil you! But nonetheless quite possible that some teachers will not be interested or even tell you that you are wasting your time. Ignore them, they are simply wrong - because their is no way they can 100% know that for sure.

    Look on a teacher as an Internet on legs when it comes to Education (and like on the internet - some are more useful than others!), not only in their subject, but also from providing advice, encouragement and even help in furthering your education from simply telling you what your options / opportunities are, where to seek them and how to go about it. Downside is this may mean extra work outside normal school hours :tongue: Fortunately not neccesarily from more homework, possibly from after school learning / activities - but I would also highly recommend good old fashioned.........reading books! and not simply pulp fiction / light entertainment (although nothing wrong with that, but as well). Given that money is tight at home, hopefully you have a library accessible (IMO libraries were the greatest human invention ever and the cornerstone of human progress since the Middle ages - but that is another thread!). Failing that or as well as, if you start getting on well with your teachers they could well start lending books to you. As well as recomending them. Blagging books over the internet is not impossible either.....or simple book exchanges, whether or not through any "Book reading clubs". But teachers will know what is possible in your world.....or at least be able to point you in the right direction to get started. And your Mum will be able to help. and it will also be a big help for her to know / share your ambitions and dreams for the future.

    Sunday morning here, this was going to be a quick 2 line post :rolleyes: But I guess something in the original post struck a chord with me. Of course any "advice" I have given should not be taken as your plan for life (as if!) - if I was such an expert I would not be on SF.com at 40! (LOL! :laugh:)...but I will add that not all parts of my life are in the toilet :tongue:..........and whether or not this post proves to be of any use to you (or others), it was useful for me to do for my own reasons. and I enjoyed doing it.

    I wish you well.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2008
  8. Aloe: Your landlord is being completely unreasonable and is probably thinking your mother as a single mum with 2 kids does not have a voice (or a brain). You sound very caring, let your mother know she doesn't have to move anywhere. Stay where you are.

    Don't let anyone here or otherwise, make you feel bad, or form offensively patronising stereotypes about you and your life, just because you're young, have a single mum, a shitty landlord and are struggling to eat right now... This isn't your fault.
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