...and that's one of the reasons why sometimes I just want to go and do it. It's almost a way to communicate. But it's true. I HATE sitting there in therapy with these questions thrown at me... like they are even relevant? I can't acknowledge them as questions because they are so unbelievably out of sync with my experience, with my world. But then I try to find words to describe this.. to describe any of it and I can't find any! So they give us these labels of illnesses... but what do they mean? What can they mean?! I'm sick of lists of symptoms, I'm sick of constant request for explanation. Do you ever feel like you will never be able to communicate this to anyone? And that's one of the most terryifying things.. you are totally alone in this.. and even after if you ever do recover - there will always be those experiences, those feelings which you will never be able to share completely, not even neccesarily with people who are handed the same label from society and put under the same heading. That's the difficult thing with mental health.. it is such an individual experience. And it's like.. people should know about that aspect of it.. that it is something which is beyond or apart from words, which makes it excruitatingly lonely.. yet because you can't communicate so much of it in words.. it's hard to convince others that that is true. Why is it that no-one ever really believes, or in someway must demean the phrase "you'll never understand". They should be startled by how terrifying that is - instead they brush it off as childish sulking, when horribly it's actually true.