Weak again

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Johnny Messina, Nov 6, 2014.

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  1. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Thinking about killing myself again after many days withouth this thoughts..

    Don't know what to write, I just want to make it over...

    I wrote this on my thread http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?132369-Can-t-give-up-!/page5 few mins ago.. dont know....



    Im still alive... I solved my neurological problems.... My stomach is still a mess.. Im back in school (some type of elite college)...need to learn.. Im 26 with "burned" brain.. Can't make myself to learn anything..
    Still feeling fucked up... Many days have passed since I thought about killing myself.. and now we are back again... I'm completely unhappy w myself.... w my life... Im still in a relationship with my old GF (for a very long time now).... Im not really sure if she's the one I should be with.. Sometimes when I go to bed I dream about some girl and we are having nice time together.. I don't know anything anymore.. I'm not earning any money, I really doubt I can finish the school I started, I cannot get back in sports or at least be succesful on any level... Im not happy w my appearence, Im not happy w my family putting preasure on me with some things.. Honestly I really think I missed my life completely.. That I don't have any chance to be happy in a way I wanted to be... To have a nice home, nice wife, to be healthy, to be "sporty" guy, to have healthy family... To make love to someone.. Do you know I've never actually made love? I just had sex which was not satisfying for me.... And now I think Ive past the point in life to be happy.. Only way I can be happy is to take bunch of drugs, alcohol, and picking up easy sluty girls at this point... Im shit, I feel like shit


    Also I think I have that thing when you are very very depresed for long periods of time, than sometimes lifts you up for short time and than you just keep drowning in depresion and pain and shit...
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering but please do not act upon your feelings. You are important. I battle very day but I'm driven by determination to beat my darkness. The cruelty you suffer is not nice so you need to focus. Great that you are sporty person as that will help. If you want to talk then PM me. You are important..... Keep remembering that. Determination will help you.... DO NOT ACT ON ANY FEELINGS....
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It helps when you treat yourself to best standards that means being drug free and picking up girls that you would have around for a while that's not considered slutty.
     
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