Hey! Still kinda new here... I thank everybody for the warm welcomes I received earlier...Probably didn't deserve them, though. Anyways...let me get to the point. I'm getting worse. I started cutting again and can't get to sleep. When I do, I just don't want to get out of bed. I feel like I can just stay there forever...drifting...lost in time. I can't eat. Food makes me nauseous. I try to, but I end up throwing it all up. I don't understand why...Does depression do that to you? I think I'm going insane too...Sometimes, when I look at certain people (even those who I've never met before), I can practically hear their disapproval in my head...Kind of like "Why the hell do you even bother? You know that nobody cares about you...It's your own fault that your mom died" voices. Then there's that little annoying voice in my head that's telling me I'm a failure. I know I'm a burden to my dad...and I bet he would do anything to exchange my place with my mom's...so that I had died and she had lived. I'm beginning to wish so myself. I've also recently been burying myself in books. I stay up the whole night reading them, despite the fact that I should be sleeping...They're mainly philosophy and religion...but I can't find any answers in them. I'm going crazy, aren't I? I'm a miserable failure. I know it. So why do I bother sticking around? I want to kill myself, but I just can't do it. Am I afraid of the pain, or is it something else? Maybe that I might end up in eternal flame in hell? Does that even exist? Hell, do I even exist?