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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sa Palomera, Oct 3, 2006.

  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I'm so fucking weak, I can't take it nomore. today for the first time in MONTHS I've cut myself. I was smart enough to stop before I'd bleed, but still. I feel so weak for it.... thankfully I could hide it from my housemates. but now I feel like doing it again and again and again and again and I'm scared that eventually they'll find out... which really is not a good thing.. I just ... grrr I SO WOULD NOT mind to get hit by a truck tomorrow morning and just die. finito. basta. How nice would that be.... :dry: I wanna die...

    what's the point of this shitass life anyway? you get born, go to school, go to work, and then you die. why not just die right away. Good for society too, at least then they'd be rid of me immediately instead of stuck with me for god knows how long.

    I don't know how long I will be able to keep going... I'm so tired...
  2. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    Ish You hold on there.
    You have been doing so well.
    There Is no need for you to feel weak just pick up where you left of.
    Think of it as an almost.
    Have you got any other ways to cope when you feel this way?
    I brought myself a sledgehammer for thos times. and id go into the backyard and lay into an old broken down car we had with it.
    try and find something else to direct your anger into.

    You Stay strong for me ok!
    Luv Josh
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    thank you for your kind words Josh. at the moment cutting is my way of releasigng my anger and sadness,.. :( I know it's bad but I'll find another way... I am just so fed up and tired with it all...

    don't worry bout me though, it's prolly just a phase as usual :unsure:
  4. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    Were all Here to help if you need us.
    remember slip ups are all part of the proccess and they dn't mean that all is lost
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2006
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hang in there Ishy :hug:
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    thanks guys *hug*
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    awwww ish!! :hug:

    firstly i don't think your weak and neither should you, cutting is a coping skill, thats all you were doing...coping. Hun please if you feel like doing it again come to me, or anyone else for a matter of fact, try talk it out, dont try hold it in. Stay strong hun, you can hang on, i know you can. I deffiantly mind if you got hit by a truck!! and im sure everyone else here would aswell!!

    You mean alot to me, you've been thereforme when i've felt down, and that means the world to me.

    Love Viks aka *donkey* :laugh:
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I never understood myself. Why does nature not finish me off now? I mean from the way others have treated me all my life I know that I am an inferior being. Why not just end my life now nature you have made it very clear that I am not wanted.

    But I know what it is like to be weak. Normally I cut myself whenever there is a very high chance of me being caught. I do not know why really. Maybe I want to get caught so I can end the charade. Who knows, but hiding it is the best thing you can do really.
  9. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    lol thanks for that *donkey* ;) U sure know how to crack me up! *huggles*

    :) I'm doing better today :)
  10. Sarah

    Sarah SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    just wanting to check up on ya hun how are you feeling now? :hug:
  11. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed


    you are pretty fortunate to have people who really care about you and are willing to listen. hold on that and run with it. it hurts alot less that way
  12. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    okay my update hehe I'm still fuckin depressed and because of that I've not had any motivation to do anything for uni these past few weeks (it's my first year at Business Communication Studies) which caused me to be behind VERY much, I cant catch up anymore, barely showed up at classes and all
    so now my plan is to drop out, go work for the rest of the schoolyear (so that I can keep on living where I live now) and then start over next year. That's the idea.. but people are angry at me, telling me not to throw my life away, what they dont get is that during that period of me working I'm gonna seek help, see a doctor or whatever to finally, after 2/3 years, work on my depression. to get better.

    I emailed my study-advisor to make an appointment. See what he says about that idea and then we'll see what I"m gonna do...
  13. Come What(Ever) May

    Come What(Ever) May Well-Known Member

    Yes, causing physical damage to something *not someone!* else is a good way to release emotions. I just go out back and hack away at tree with a small axe whenever I feel the need. Or just run till you drop, you'll be so tired you will completely forget about emotions.