Wearing Down

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by brknsilence, May 10, 2016.

  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Lately, my body has been getting worn down. I'm more exhausted and drained and sadly, I feel my body has been having enough. Already having low blood pressure and being so drained emotionally and physically. Had a scare in the past and came close to death. I just been thinking without me doing anything, I feel my body may just give out some time soon and I have no idea if I can stop it and I have been accepting the fact, it may happen. I feel sad. I already have no hope in anything anymore. Maybe my time is almost up anyways, I don't know. I try not to think about it but when my body feels this way, I can't help but think "maybe....." I thought about writing a letter to my family (not a suicide note ) just in case and even asking my husband's best friend who does psychiatry if he can make sure my family will be okay and if he can watch out for them. Just these thoughts of possible death has been filling my mind lately. I just been so exhausted and more drained each and every day.
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Heart issues are so taxing. It doesn't help me when I have to feel each heartbeat especially when I'm trying to sleep the body is just struggling to get the blood circulated. Cramps in leg/foot stinging senstation constantly having to get up. Its so tiring some days ive found eating banana every am and pm more than before it seens to be felt less for me.

    Tomorrow I go in for the stress test. I am hoping the test will tell the doctors there is something wrong with the heart and I can know the unknown it'll give me a peace of mind.

    Have you gone to the doctors and explain whars going on? Hang in there.
     
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I hope everything goes well. Keep me updated on how it goes? I hope you feel better soon.

    I saw my doctor yesterday for the pregnancy. Posted that part in another section on here. Most of yesterday's appointment was me convincing the dr I will be okay regarding the suicidal thoughts I had recently. They took my blood pressure which was low. I even told the doctor how drained I feel. How exhausted I feel physically. They're wasn't much talk on that. Not sure if I'm just drained emotionally and physically all around and my body feels every part of it. I told her I am seeing a therapist and a med dr for my depression. She's encouraging me to keep reaching out and to talk to the dr about upping my meds. Not sure if it will help. I just feel my body will just give out. I just don't know what else to do but accept that it may happen.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Did you get your blood levels checked hun? Iron, sugar, vitamins etc?

    Pregnancy takes a big toll on the body (not that I have tried it yet, but that's what science tells me).
    Please hang in there hun! I know it's not easy, and feeling unwell physically can have it's toll on ones mental state, as well as the other way around.
     
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I forgot to ask her. She was so focused mostly on the suicidal thoughts and making sure I would be okay. I see her again on the 6th. Hoping I will feel better soon.
     
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    That's a bit far away hun. Can't you get another appointment? Maybe with your gp?

    For now if you aren't try to add a multi vitamin
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I see my med Dr tomorrow but I don't have anyone to watch my kids. I may need to reschedule on that. I feel like a mess.
     
  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Could you take your kids with you if you must? Your health is important
     
  9. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    They place won't allow it.
     
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Wow they wont allow it? that's a first for me but yet I dont have children. What about asking a friend to go with you and watch the kids in the car while you go in?

    My test ended earlier than expected due to me not able to do beyond 7 minutes. They were worried about me wheezing I said it wasn't hurting me. Will find results in few days
     
  11. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I hope everything goes well. I called the place to reschedule. I have 4 kids ranging from 1 to 9 years old. Pregnant with #5. I'm hoping to talk to my case manager to schedule me for a Monday do my husband can watch the kids. It's been hard finding someone to watch the kids. Hoping the place can help.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  12. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Are you seeing the people again on the stress test?
     
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Depends on what the cardiologist see. They took ultrasound of my heart before and after the excerising. The pulse was quite high but B/P was up and down who knows what they will tell me the testers were so nice to me.
     
  14. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Wow that would be great! Good luck!
     
  15. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I hope all goes well with the test. Keep me updated.

    The place hasn't called me back yet. Still waiting .
     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  16. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Finally talked to my new case manager from the Dr's office for my antidepressants. I got an appointment set up with her. I got to see her before seeing the Dr