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Weight/Body Image Issues

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Twocky61, May 17, 2014.

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  1. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Question to all you ladies out there:

    Why are you all (well most of you anyway) so anal about your weight and body image?

    If your partner is happy with you as you are then why aren't you?

    I know it is not so simple as that as eating disorders are rooted in issues deeper than just the food you eat

    NN2R if you feel uncomfortable with the question but I would be grateful if someone would enlighten me as all I get from Claire when I ask her is "Because it is"
  2. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    while it does help to get positive feedback from outside, its all about you feeling comfortable in your body. having other people compliment you is only a temporary fix. generally, in our society today, i think being thin reflects health and discipline, and maybe even youth. and those are generally attractive attributes. in the mind of someone who has an eating disorder it can have more to do with control. when im not as thin as i would like, i feel like im out of control. i want to be in control of my body. that probably doesnt make sense to a lot of people who dont have this way of thinking, bc after all, i am in control of my body regardless. i can control its movements and functions etc. and if you will, having in eating disorder really makes you the controlled one instead of putting you in control. (idk if your partner has an eating disorder or not, im only going off of you mentioning it) i feel like when im small, nothing can harm me. also, bc of my low self esteem, when im small i feel like im not being pretentious and eating more than i need. that has a lot to do with it.

    basically, i think women that are conscious about their weight want to look healthy and fit, and like theyre living and enjoying life. to me, it reflects that things are going well.
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I agree totally with oval.
    My mother-in-law tried to make me fat when I first entered my in-law family - she had reasons of her own for doing this. I was only very young at the time, and her method got to me, giving me a binge/starve syndrome - it was all extremely unconscious and nasty and I only escaped from it when we left the UK 6 years later to a place I knew she'd never visit - and I was free. It left me at that point, although over the years I was still conscious of a need to not carry any extra weight, which was hard when catering for a family and the female addiction to chocolate (which I was never able to eat in moderation, due to echoes of the past). I now eat according to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine and have lost all I had needed to (8kg, about 1.5stone) - and my food issues are a thing of the past now. I've learned a lot, that's all I can say about it, lol!!!
  4. NickA8326

    NickA8326 Active Member

    You are very nice urPrecious, I would have shoved food in her face and laughed at her, telling her that she looks better with the food hiding her hideous decaying face. Or I would call her up and stage a fake dinner with fake good intentions just to ruin her day and emotions, ha ha ha =D!
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Well, Nick, as the Lord says: "Vengeance is mine...." - the way the karma of it has worked out is that I'm food-issue free and yet her own poor daughter who had to listen to her mother's stuff for longer, is unfortunately obese - so what the mother intended for me has come back to bite. There are tons of life lessons in there......... apart from which, every time I tried to stand up to her always seemed to fail - that is what makes the crazy-makers so good at what they do (in their eyes, but they come off worse in the long term). :)
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    it has a lot to do with the way you were brought up and the way you see the world. Plus pressure from society doesn't make it easy to accept yourself, flaws and all, and love yourself...

    I for one can't seem to understand why people would find me beautiful, I don't see the same thing as others when I look in the mirror, it's something in my subconscious and can be part of a mental illness. If you're depressed or sick, don't expect her to love the way she looks...inner thoughts are the ones that are master in the mind, so if she thinks negatively of herself all the time, they are the culprit, along with past memory of problems...

    for me, my father thought I was ugly, never said I was pretty, never liked me...so I think that's a big part of my lack of self esteem and self loathing...we're in pain really, it is not fun to have thoughts that call you ugly, fat, etc...and bring up facts to support the theory.

    I would say be patient. Tell her she's beautiful, if she brushes it off, tell her that your opinion does matter and you are not going to change your mind, perhaps tell her what you find beautiful like, you have beautiful eyes today, if she says she's ugly, you can say you feel ugly today? I'm sorry you feel that way, but I think you look great in my opinion, but I understand maybe you are having a bad day? inquire why she feels ugly today? anything in particular? any thought?

    hope what I suggested help
  7. mandy

    mandy Well-Known Member

    i don't know I remember hating my body since I was 5 . I always compare myself to others and don't think I'm good enough or good at all. I have hated every aspect of myself for so long. There are certain people who are more prone to it I believe, although anyone can be made to believe they are inferior; but people who are perfectionists (me), or who's parents have really high expectations and consequently they learn they always have to prove their worth to people. Also people who are very sensitive IMO are more likely to develop body issues because they are more likely to believe what others say, so if someone says they should lose weight they make take it really personally. Lastly I think people who are high achieving and really determined a lot of times develop eating disorders, because once they set their mind to something they go all the way and they don't stop. When I as in outpatient every person there was either super sensitive, a people pleaser, very intelligent, determined, had high expectations for themselves or from others, and/or were really competitive. For me , I am a lot of those things, I am a perfectionist who is really sensitive, my parents expect me to do well because apparently I am pretty intelligent (sorry not trying to be like rude or self centered), I compare my self with others, and competitive , determined, and have high expectations of myself. So a recipe for disaster really. That's my input
  8. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    So true Morning Rush

    The modelling industry, media and companies like Mattel have a lot to answer for what with their exploitation of near annorexic women to model their wares and as for Mattel what is with the Barbie/Cindy doll? (which one is theirs?)

    Mattel should have brought out a more realistic doll called, say, Mandy (Not a reference to you Mandy, I am referring to the character Mandy Dingle played by actress Lisa Jane Riley in the uk soap Emmerdale)
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2014
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