Earlier tonight a lady was telling me how my friend is really bad again, really depressed.. that he doesn't wnat to get better, that all he wants is to die.. since then its seriously felt like ive had a boulder sitting on my chest, i breathe differently and its so heavy.. He means so much to me, i don't think he really knows. I really really want to help him, i want him to be happy, but i honestly dont know how. i have no idea what to do.. nothing. Part of me is scared to get really involved again, because it was when he was bad before that my depressionish stuff started.. when i went down.. I've recently come out of it and i dont want to head back down that road again.. But i will do anything i can for him, anything for him to be ok.. *sigh* i love you pecky.