I've been having these dreams lately. Just in the past few days. It's of this person i talk to online. and i've only spoken to them for almost a year now, but not really intimately or like as to have feelings for them. but it's been like amost a year now. I talked to them alot, sometimes in bursts. i went through some hard times, but she never really like...seemed to care. but we've been talking alot recently. i've almost tried to deny my feelings, but i feel them. I had these dreams. she's just how i know her now, really school oriented and works hard. but she came to stay with us, in the dream. don't know how, really, or anything. it was weird, but that's how all dreams are. she was distant, sorta, and I didn't see her much. but it was still something. the next night i had ANOTHER dream, the next night. we were going to school, and i remember walking with her. but it was short. and then we had to run from something, I don't remember very much now. But then again i had it just this last night, third time in a row. is my mind trying to tell me something? I just didn't want to think that we could have a relationship. she's far away. but I've blocked it out of my mind, because I didn't want to believe it. Though it was so passive at first I feel like I really have feelings for her. she's really into the school thing, her parents are hard on her about it. I've been there a few times where we just talk it out and stuff. but she just doesn't seem to keep it serious. like we kind of get close and really friendly for awhile, but then she doesn't come online. i feel helpless. i don't know what to do. i'm a sad person. no girlfriends, never kissed anyone. I've come close to suicide a few times. I've thought about what I would say. i say something different each time. but that's just something else. I feel like...it's hopeless. Like I'm loving invane. I don't think she likes me back. it hurts me inside to talk to her, and be happy. but i know I love her. it's hard to say. I don't even know if I should say. I feel bad. We get along well, on some levels. are interests are like total opposites, she likes different music. but we're both artistic, and we both get sad sometimes. she was on this site once, and no longer. it's just tearing me up inside. I can't tell her how I feel. but I don't want to die without. I just want her to care. i want to believe that maybe sometime in the future, we're close. and maybe atleast I have a shot. but these dreams. I feel them, when I wake up. I feel like i've just been with her, like we were close. and when i talked to her tonight, she was feeling bad. i talked with her, and we got through it. I felt closer, just a little. but everytime i get closer, a little later she sometimes says or does things that are really...not insensitive, just like...we were kind of connecting, but she just doesn't seem to have the feelings i do. it saddends me. In my dreams, i feel closer...but in person, the one i talk to, doesn't like me. what do these dreams mean? i'm thinking of her subconsciously? ****** i wish i could tell you how i feel. but don't know. I know you don't like me. And I just don't know what to do. I want you to be happy.