Weird Emotions

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jagroen, May 29, 2012.

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  1. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    I dont know exactly how to word this, so here it goes...

    has anyone ever felt so misunderstood by everybody including yourself that you dont know who you are anymore because of a life experience?
    so built up and confused that you feel you should go for councelling but so afraid that your thoughts will put you in the hospital on Suicide watch?
    i feel so messed up this week, today will be the first day in a long time that ill get to be "alone" with no one around that actually notices that im here hurting in my room...

    my "closet" friend has been hanging with me daily for the past 8 months, and surprisingly im not sick of it...its just i get this weird feeling that if im not hanging around him then i have a missing link and my life starts to crumble in front of me..has anyone ever felt this way?

    ive been having asthma problems, allergies issues, college problems, roommate/landlord problems...let alone my parents and/or family.
    i dont know what to do anymore, i keep getting messed up and thrown down a abyss over and over everytime i SEEM to be getting out of it then BAM im back and i feel i cant get out, its like ever since i was 17 my life has been at a snail pace and it finally tells me know that i cant keep up with the real world and im not ready or "worthy" for the world...being 21 is difficult but i know life has its ups and downs...i WANT help but im scared, shy, not worthy of the help i deserve? im worried that if i do get help then ill be putting myself back into the abyss even further since i moved out of my parents place to attend college.


    if anyone could give me insight of my mixed feelings, i would be cheerful,


    Thanks,


    Corey
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2012
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hello
    Alot what you have said here reminds me of me.When i was growing up though we didnt have help that there is now.Try not to be scared of seeking support from a councillor or therapist even talk to your doc first.Depression is not a weakness its real and affects even the most famous.You show alot of signs of depression just from what you have posted here and the quicker you get help to get you on your journey to cope with it the better.Leaving it can put you in danger and make it a harder journey.Hope I was able to help a bit.You can also as you have done keep using this forum as well for support.Take care
     
  3. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    its good to stick around people when you are feeling down. they also may need you to encourage them coz they are probably feeling the same.
     
  4. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    Well, today i went to the doctors, to get my inhaler prescriptions...and i asked about my depression and he notice the cut marks on my ankles (stupid me with shorts),
    he told me that part of my asthma and depression is my weight, so i were to work out and start eating healthy, some problems could go away...

    now only to get the motivation, the strength, or whatever you want to call it actually attempt to work out....
     
  5. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Hi Jagroen
    I know from personal experience and from other knowledge, that the brain/mind is capable of throwing out and being responsible for no end of emotions and some VERY puzzling, bizarre, scary, outlandish, scary, weird.................there is nothing normal or abnormal i dont feel and we all think and have differing sets of emotions like we do our own DNA and make up etc.
    Counselling can be a good thing, however here in UK we have very limited resources unless you go privately and sessions are a few times then you get left high and dry and alone, I have gone to several people over the years and found the more I dug into things the worse I got.
    The last therapist told me I could go to him as long as it took, so felt comfortable and go on well, then after 6 months he left! Completely made me worse and mental, and vowed not to go down that route again.
    It works well for some though. I have had tough life with lots of things and 2 weeks ago my beloved mother died and I am just wanting to die and be with her.
    She is the only person who has ever understood me in life and wasn't for her would've been long gone.
    Some people, well, alot of people dont just understand my life and how hard its been and is, multiple abusers as a child, bad and abusive and sad relationships as adult, jilted twice (weddings), lots of longstanding health problems which means have limited lifestyle and everyday is awful for me, they just think I can be happy and have great life.
    I know what emotions are and have some really weird and odd ones and they seem freakish but I assure myself they are now. I am here if you'd like to talk Corey, without mums support and love now I want to die at every second the day and dont know whats holding me back. Here if you need to and willing to share any emotions/thoughts you may have.
     
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