Weird feelings

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by canyaseeme, Dec 26, 2008.

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  1. canyaseeme

    canyaseeme New Member

    Hello everyone, I'm 20 and I just really don't agree with the human race. Its just been bothering me lately. I feel like nobody likes me because I speak the truth about things. I hate being mean to people its just not me. But it seems like that's what people like in present time. For instance yesterday during a Christmas dinner i went to everyone was talking and blahblah, and at a distance i was listening to a conversation 2 women talking about me. I mean seriously people don't know how to relax .... its like bringing people down is a hobby.
    People whisper and talk under there breath sometimes ... and most of the time I hear it.
    I make no assumptions of people but I understand thoughts run through everyone's head about certain things.
    I would really say, I have no real friends.
    I refuse to go out with anyone ... Its irritating, Ive had a girlfriend when I was 11-17 she talked to all of my friends and blah blah and ended up when we broke up she had sex with one of my old best friends and dated him. And then his brother also. And in the last case she dated a recent best friend and had sex with him and called me and told me "At least I can say I had sex with him, his fine ass" that rite there through me over the edge. Its just nasty how people are.
    I had sex with a girl and I really didn't want to I was a virgin but meh I said id give it a whirl but meh just because my ex made me so upset i shouldn't have done that.
    I must admit Ive made mistakes in the past as a child but once I hit 18 Ive been the best person i could possibly be.
    I had a bright future in football but i quit because my coach had a private word with me and said "Why do you hang out with all these white people you need to start making more black friends and forget your old ones".
    I try to make more Caucasian friends they treat me like im someone that's gonna go in there house and steal that life savings ... and they make all the black jokes and blahblah
    And then I go around some black folks and they pick on me and talk down to me because they say I talk like im white.

    and I can go on and on and on about what people are doing to me its just making me feel like I shouldn't be here. (and these are just some minor things)
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    welcome to SF. Its always the minor things that make the most problems. Its upsetting to here that your race is affecting your day to day life treatment from people. and as for the sex thing and the ex girlfriend, we have nearly all done something along those lines and felt terrible after, honest, just talk it out, it may help.

    have you sought any proffesional help with the way you feel? and i dont think you should give up a possible career for this, maybe find a different team to play with.

    :hug: in the mean time, you are welcomed to the site and feel free to message me if you wish, and i am usually in chat also. i'm sure we will be able to help you out :hug: and happy holidays.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Canuseeme,
    You just need to be yourself and the hell with anyone that doesn't like it. People are going to come and go thru out your life. Don't let them drag you down.
    There are plenty of good people in this world and I am sure you will find some to be your friend. You will find friends here on the forum who will listen to you and offer you support. Not all people are racist.
    For example my brother is a redneck and uses the N word all the time. I'm not racist and it bothers me when he says that. My grandaughter is malotto and she is smart, cute, very good manners, good personality. If anyone ever uses that word around her I will kick there ass.
    She told me once that the kids at school made fun of her for being half black/white. She said that is there problem because it doesn't bother her.She's only seven and is wise for her age. Take care and I hope you don't think everyone is like the fools you have hung around with!!~Joseph~
  4. John_1963

    John_1963 Member

    Yes, a lot of people suck. " the more I know people, the more I like my dog".

    Some women (and men) cheat and it does hurt.A lot. Makes you feel worthless. But their cheating is all about them and not you. Been there. First wife cheated all the time. In the end, she's lonely and sad.

    You are a young guy and have a lot of really cool things to look forward to.

    Mistakes in the past tend to haunt us. Especially if they happen when we are little. You are not that person in the past...but often we still feel that way.

    I wish I had your problems. Rent a movie called "God grew tired of us" and you will see just how messed up and gossipy American culture can be. I keep thinking back to the hardship in the movie and realize my problems are small compared to many other people.

    Nevertheless the feelings you have are yours, you have to walk around with them. And nobody knows the pain like you do.

    A lot of people suck. That's the bottom line here. There are some people that are really, really sweet and cool. These are the people that you want to hang out with.

    Because you are so young I can almost guarantee you'll find a woman that will be nurturing. Don't get hung up on looks, either. They fade after a few months and then you're stuck with her personality and values. And it's her VALUES that will fall in love with. A woman that is nurturing and kind will make you complete. That's my opnion.
  5. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I hear what you are saying about people not liking the truth and not wanting to be mean to people, but I will say this, you need to stick up for yourself in this world, and people often need to hear what they dont want to hear

    you sound like a decent honorable person, something that goes against what our way of life in America is about, I dont know what to tell you other then stick to your beliefs and your morals and dont give in and stick up for yourself, advice I wish I was able to drill into my head a year ago

    And yea dont hang around people who are assholes, even if you are lonely or have no friends, use your instincts on who is an asshole or not
  6. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi canyaseeme,

    If you need some chats, feel free to contact me. I can relate to what you're saying here. You seem like a very decent bloke.. you'll find your way. Look, you can mix with people that are cool with other races.

    It's the social conditioning.. the way people are raised.. their attitudes.. it's all annoying really but you'll get to a stage where you block these people out lol.. I'm currently in this stage, I block out people who are too social conditioned, not able to think freely and lovingly.. conditioned by the society, people need to wake up.
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