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weird obssession

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#1
so first of all not rlly sure, if this belongs in practical advice or i have a question. so in sophomore yr i was starting at the clock and my phone constantly in english class cuz i wanted the class to end and my the school wifi was shit and kept resetting my game and this kid next to me turns to the side and whispers i think that girls has a crush on me and that i realized huh, a girl? me? it was weird to see my self associated with a gender since i dress like tomboy and act like a loner and that i always saw myself as this pathetic existence that exists so like in a overall 3rd person sense. see for some reason i unconsciously avoided this guy in my head i asked my self why? the voice in my head replied this guy is too much like so don't associate urself with him and this is just me judging by appearances. this kid also turned out to be the school's drug dealer a popular kid with a bland face and misses school a lot. and me being mr with my ADHD i space out a lot day dreaming and this kid's seat was facing me in the next table so like u know how when someone spaces out it looks like they r staring at u? its kind one of those things and so for some reason from that summer i started to notice that kid's name everywhere i still do and i fucking hate this since i barely talked to him and don't give a damn about him i just wnat this name to disappear and stop. and im one of those ppl who rmbr every fuckin bad thing i did and i regret not telling him that day no i had a crush on this female friend of mine but i didn't since it was a quiet class room and those two were talking about me but not to me so that would be like evesdropping idk how to spell it even though im literally sitting next to them in the table and not by choice either since its shitty group activities. and i can't seem to forget that class either since i seemed to have had multiple panic attacks there as well one in a art classroom. so um bottom line here is do u guys know how i can get rid of this problem?
 
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Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
hey, sorry you didn't get a response until now.

Can you help me by explaining the actual problem and what you want as a resolve? Is it that you can't stop thinking about the guy?

I totally relate to obsessing over every bad thing I've ever done
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#3
hmm i always judged him as similar to me and kind of conscious of him that way like this kid was too similar stay away from him idk y. and then after the above mentioned incident i started to be conscious of that guy's name not his face or him just him name oddly, interestingly enough i think talk to him only like 3 times? so right now i just want that name to stop haunting me
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#4
hmm i always judged him as similar to me and kind of conscious of him that way like this kid was too similar stay away from him idk y. and then after the above mentioned incident i started to be conscious of that guy's name not his face or him just him name oddly, interestingly enough i think talk to him only like 3 times? so right now i just want that name to stop haunting me
Accept the "haunting", don't fight it. Experience it for what it is, learn and focus on how you feel and how you think when that happens. If you want to, idk tho.
 

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