not sure about anything here except how i feel and how i found this site. to the bottom and can't find a way out anymore. sort of coming to grips with it too. don't feel too bad about it at all anymore. worried for a long time about everyone else after but i am kind of ok with that now too. worried to long about everyone else but myself. i think i am really close to being done. never felt this close ever before.... meds don't work anymore.