welcome me please, please, please :attention:

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Joe85, Aug 20, 2013.

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  1. Joe85

    Joe85 Member

    Although I started posting already, I figured I must introduce myself first. I am new to the forums culture, don’t judge me.
    It's going to be long, so hang in there

    I am from Saudi Arabia and I think this's enough to figure out that I have nothing to do with "Joe", but I just happen to like this name. The main motivation to join you guys, like some of you I guess, was my suicidal attempt last week. I was introduced to the bitter truth 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It wasn’t quite surprising to me, yet it was too hard to accept. By that time, I had been already having them for 10 years. I tried therapy and meds for a while, nothing seemed to work simply for the fact that I wasn’t fully accepting my situation, I think. That took place while I was doing my grad school in the US. I have to say that living in the US gave me an easy access to alcohol and drugs, and also high quality medical care; we don’t posses any of those here in SA. I was looking for an answer during the struggle, for a miracle to happen. I started to pray Allah (God) to cure me or take my life. However, when I did not receive any answer I took it to another level, a level of questioning God existence. Some of you already guessed it, answering that question is depression in itself. After long time of trying to figure out the question of thousands of years old, I came up with terms with myself, I just quit. I mentioned that because according to the Saudi law, that’s a crime and I deserve death penalty for it!!!., funny Saudi Arabia Not to mention the culture, people, friends, family and their tolerance toward such an issue, NOTHING. Only one friend who happened to live in the US knows about it.
    Carrying all of that has taught me one thing; I have to survive no matter what. I learned how to accept depression and anxiety as part of my feelings and they deserve the same amount of attention as the others. Sometimes I feel that those illnesses have given me a huge gift I should appreciate. Holding those believes has improved my feelings tremendously.
    So, a rational person would think that there are conflicts going on considering that last week I attempted suicide. Well maybe there is or maybe not, what I know is this if there is one positive outcome of my last experience, it would be that I could not really see depression this time. Unfortunately, it was anger this time and now I just have to deal with it, so I really hope that i can overcome it soon. Anyway, I am very grateful to join you guys, and I really hope that my present adds something positive; maybe I am lucky to go through all of this just so I can meet you all
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Joe85, and welcome to SF! I'm glad you found us and hope you make some new friends here. :)
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Joe85. Thanks for writing your story. I really like to read what other people from other places in the world have experienced. You mentioned that you recently expereinced anger. I remember once a therapist saying that sometimes depression can be caused from, or made worse by anger that is kept locked inside. I cannot say if its true. Certainly its not true for all people who have depression. But what you wrote about the anger made me think of that. Then I have heard people say that underneeth anger is saddness. Of course, i do not know. I just listen to people and store the information.

    I am glad you found this community. I hope you will continue to post here and meet people.
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    welcome to the forums
  5. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    Welcome Joe! Glad you found us :)
  6. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Welcome joe am Muslim myself to me its looks like Allah has found this place for you
    keep holding on Allah must have his own reasons for you to still be here
    Glad you have found us
  7. Dialtone

    Dialtone Member

    Welcome Joe. I am new as well. I hope your experience here is a positive one!
  8. shedhaddock

    shedhaddock Banned Member

    Welcome to SF Joe, I hope you find us helpful to you in dark times :D
  9. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Salam from Israel. Yes, we have depression here too, I'm afraid. Welcome to the forum.
  10. Lost and tired

    Lost and tired Well-Known Member

    Hi, I've only been here a few days and listening to other people's stories and getting support from some incredible people has helped me more than I thought it would. Was your anger caused by something or someone specific or a general feeling towards everything? I short I think I mean was there a trigger for it. It must have been an enormous feeling to make you try to end it all
  11. Joe85

    Joe85 Member

    Thank you for welcoming and I am among the greatest people in the plant
    What a name!!i am sure flowers can learn a lot from you. Thank you for the info, it really makes sense. I feel that anxiety is the platform for my anger, and known that I can’t do everything I think of, it just translated into depression. I am glad to find you guys as well.
    Thank you so much
    Thank you, me too
    Thank you for the support. Believe me , I am searching for the truth sincerely, and I hope I am lucky enough to find it before it is all over. I am glad as well.
    I hope all of us experience nothing but positive, happiness, and joy. Thank you for welcoming.
    Thank you so much, i sure will!!
    walikum salam habebe, I understand living in Israel-Palestine conflict must be very depressing. I hope you overcome it soon. Maybe we both should migrate?
    Found and energetic
    I am sure I will experience the same from the forum’s members, and I hope you find what you are looking for. My anger started from a minor argument with a random person. somehow I could not calm myself, and then the anger took another level when my dad came to my mind, because I believe that my dad has contributed the most to my anger.
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi to you and welcome you to SF hugs
  13. Joe85

    Joe85 Member

    thanks total eclipse, warm hugs to you
  14. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Joe, that was so nice of you to answer each person as you did. Yes, I can understand how a parent can be at the root of so much anger. Healing the pain can be difficult. But it can also be such a relief. I hope you find healing. Just as I hope we all do !!! We each deserve that.
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