zen14 said:
Im 31, male, whos been sold out by friends that couldnt understand my depression. Family is judgemental.
Dad was a piece of shit.
Oct. 24 2004 I slit my wrist and was found by mom after 2 hours I couldnt move and I should be dead according to two nurses. One said god was the reason i was alive. I have tried to freeze to death and now I have a rope ready to go.
As of today a "friend" called the cops TO MY HOUSE telling them i was taking too much prescription drugs. WITHOUT checking on me in 4 days. She did it cause she is jilted because I dont "like her back". That was the proverbial last straw.
People are EVIL.
Hey Zen, I'm also 31 and male and no, I am afraid people are not evil as you say. They can be stubborn, crude, rude, selfish, thoughtless, abrupt and inconsiderate, but in all my time, bar those people I have seen on TV, I have yet to meet a genuinely evil person. To be evil is to have no knowledge of love, no experience of respect or comfort or caring, no will to do the right thing nor the desire to see others happy. Perhaps your friend did what she did out of concern, perhaps she did it because she was angry and wanted to hurt you, I dont know. However, I wouldnt use that example to label us all evil.
Why not give 2 fingers to the world and de different? Why not hang on in there to spite the world? Show your contempt for the slings and arrows and not back down. Let outrageous fortune run riot and yet stand amidst it. You would not believe it, but in all of us there in a titanium rod running up our spine you just have to find it. I suffer with depression, but like the schoolyard bullies, I wont let it beat me. Why? because it is one thing in my life, a powerful thing maybe, but still jsut one thing. I am a myriad of 'things' and together we defy this foulness that saps me of joy, that robs me of life and vitality and denies me happiness. Well fuck depression and fuck pain, bring it on and then serve me some afters. Fair enough I am typing these words whilst all the while feel like I'd love to stick a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, but if I had a gun I wouldnt do it. Because I am not yet done. My name is Ian, I am 31 yo, I am broken and in pain, physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually and I am not yet done. I have things to do and places to see and yet I am not done.
Neither are you. Stick with us and put away the rope. I have found strenght in defiance of my problems, maybe you can too?
Take care,
Ian