So obviously I'm new, or I wouldn't be posting here, lol... So quick thing about me. I tend to ramble on and on. My mind races ALL the time and my fingers can hardly catch up half the time so if it seems like I'm in a race or something, I kinda am. I hope I don't get too confusing... I also type exactly what I think and say cuz if I go back right away, I forget what it is that I am saying. So if I forget to go back and add or remove things, I super hardcore apologize. I also swear like a sailor. I know, attractive, right? Anyways, onto me. So I am 20 years old. Yes, I'm female, and I have gone through what every young woman like myself goes through. I have had my heart broken, I have had tears flow from my eyes. I have had everything you can think of an average young adult in this day and age goes through. But I have gone through a little bit more as well. For as long as I can remember I have had the diagnosis of depression... And within the last couple years or so, high anxiety, PTSD, and disassociation have been tacked onto it. I have hopes and dreams that are so unrealistic that it's ridiculous for me to even want them to happen, but I do. Idk if you would classify it as anorexia, but I def have weight issues. I cannot allow myself to get over the weight of 135 (at the most) and I'm 5'7". If I don't feel like eating, I simply won't do it, or I feel gross and want to be sick. Weird right? This is getting long, but I feel like I'm not even close to you even beginning to see what makes me, me... I would love to be able to tell you that I don't let my mental insecurities and disabilities (or whatever you so choose to call them) effect me in my day to day life, but I do. There are times where I don't want to move from the floor and there are other times where you can't get me to stay in this state. I tend to run away from everything, yet at the same time, try to confront them because I know that is the way to solve it. I have gone to the psych ward, been put on meds, been to therepy... I have self medicated, self mutilated, and attempted. I have lost a child, lost a love, and been so alone, the voices in my head disappeared. Yet I'm still here. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm supposed to do what I do best, listen and help others and take care of the ones I love... I am a 20 year old female, but I am so much more as well... Hello. I am Ahmandah.