Well I Am Still Here

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Godsdrummer, Feb 20, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    After work yesterday I went out and bought the item that I needed to take care of business.

    God stopped me. Just as I arrived home, my neighbor/friend arrived home. he came over to my car to talk to me, saw the item and knew what it was for. I left it in the car and went inside.

    Later on I decided to grab it out of the car and take it inside to my apartment. I called my Mom to say goodbye and she freaked out (naturally) and threatened to call the cops on me if I didnt go voluntaringly to the hospital.

    I told her that I would get rid of the item, she stated she needed proof, so luckily my landlord (wonderful person) was still around and I gave to her and had her call my Mom.

    So my aftermath....all I did was scare the crap out of my Mom.

    If there is a next time, I am just going to keep my mouth shut.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm glad you had the strength to give the item to your landlord.. Now I think you should still go to the hospital because you can't just turn a switch on and feel like commiting and then just flick it off and expect everything to be peachy. You really need to seek help and guidance. At least in the hospital you will know you are safe and have a shrink to talk to..Please don't hesitate or you won't go..I know because I am like that. I should have gone to the hospital like I planned but my augoriphobia and anxiety got the best of me so I wound up cutting myself and taking three xanax to pass out. Once you are there it will be a releif to you just by knowing nothing is going to happen..Take care!!!
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I wish I could go but I have no one to take care of my cat.
  4. Hotwaffles

    Hotwaffles Member

    I've read a few of your posts and your landlord seems like a nice person, do you think he/she would be able to take care of your cat? Considering your circumstances I think they would.
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    She doesnt think that the hospital will do me any good. Because only God can solve my problems.
  6. Hotwaffles

    Hotwaffles Member

    Oh wow, gotta love the hardcore christian type. There's not a friend or relative that can watch it for a while?
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Sadly no. I could ask my ex but she is so pissed at me, there is no way.
  8. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I was really worried about you. Please consider going to hospital, god is everywhere also in hospital :smile:

    The thing that I learnt in the past is that suicide and depression is a mind issue. You're not supposed to be feeling like that whatever happend! No one should feel so shit that they want to die. So medical help is all I can sugggest you to get. We don't want to lose you.

    Stay safe :hug:
  9. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I want to go, cause I no longer trust my mind. I was just over at another website forum posting how I would never abandon my kids, and seconds later I had suicidal thoughts again.

    But I can't go unless I know my kitty is safe. That may sound stupid to some people, but I rescued her and I need to know she is going to be in my absence.
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Also My Mom is really worried cause I took the time to look up my method and research it online. Sigh...it would have been a painless death with little mess.
  11. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Perhaps if you explained your situation she would be willing to help?

    Failing that, could your Mum not look after your cat?

  12. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    MY ex doesnt believe that I am really suicidal. So I don't think she would help.
    I know she wouldnt.

    My mom can't help as she lives 30 miles away, has to take care of 6 dogs on her own and my Dad who suffered a terrible brain trauma some time back.
  13. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Cant a neighbour of yours look after the cat?
  14. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey. can you board your cat? even if it is just for 3 days perhaps. it's not that expensive for that time period. also - a pet store where you buy the food, supplies, etc. often times will have a sympathetic pet-lover owner/manager, employee who will watch your pet for you- give a few bucks and your own food.....

    also - there may be pet rescues in your area (lived in ill a long time. . . ) and they may also provide respite care if you are honest with them about your situation.

    (((hell. if i was back there - i would watch the kitty.....! i totally understand hun))) you are a truly caring person. .. . and it shows in how you care for even your innocent pet.

    let's brainstorm here. . .you are doing GREAT so far - . . .if you need more help from me - re sources in illinois - you can pm me - i have connections in the northwest suburbs of chicago - and other areas near chicago. take care. keep us posted. . .xxxx
  15. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

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