Well I Did It

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I've lost.

    I have lost my g/f, I lost my wife a long time ago. I drank heavily last night. I am going to again tonight.

    I am going to keep on drinking until I die, and if it takes too long, then I can always fall back on my other method.

    But alcohol poisoning is the only method I know of, that I am not to chicken to try.


    You guys heard of King Midas right. Everything he touches turns to gold.

    Well I am the anti King Midas. Everything I touch, turns to crap.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Bill I'm sorry hun. Sorry that you are in such a state and place and sorry that I cant offer any help or words to pull you through this. I'm in the same place and just waiting for the next opportunity. But hun you arent alone, just wanted to let you know. Unfortunately you, me and so many others here are in the same boat. And it looks like amongst us all there is only one oar so we keep paddling around in the same damn circle day after bloody day.
    So all I can offer is my well broken in shoulder, an ear that will listen and Hell even a drinking buddy if we can get insync. Just wanted to let you know someone does REALLY understand where you are right now. I truly hope you find the miracle you need to help kick start your life in a new direction. But until then I'm willing to listen. :hugtackles:
     
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thanks!

    I am such a waste.
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    No Bill, you're not a waste. The waste is those that refuse to see or hear us when we are in pain. The waste is those that will never know just what caring and understanding and loving people they are letting slip away. The waste is all the endless hours we spend hurting and crying out to empty blackness. But you hun.... no way. You see you arent a waste cuz you're here crying out and you know someone is going to hear you and try to hold your hand through it. Unfortunately for you I'm one of the few that have found it and I can have a pretty good grip when I need too (lol). So... I prefer rye what's your choice and what time (lol).
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey Bill, I am just coming up to speed so apologize for coming in late in the game.

    Listen to itmahanh you are not a waste!

    You give amazing advice, comfort and guidance here on SF so don't let your disease talk such crap to you!

    We are here for you but seriously do you think drinking is a good idea? I know slips happen but so does recovery...can you get to a meeting? What about a sponsor, do you have one?

    Love ya B
     
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I just reread my post that was stickied. I am certainly not in my right mind atm.

    I will not let death win.

    And I will not allow any woman to take me back to that place I was last September. I will not find myself at the end of a rope because of that.
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Do you care to share a bit about what has happened/is happening? You know we all love to help!

    We are here for you Bill! :hugtackles:
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please stay safe don't let the pain win. Alcohol god it helps short term but not good for getting back on track I am glad you came back and saw no one is worth harming yourself You are a kind compassionate caring person and i only hope someday you find healing. take care.
     
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun reread that post over and over make it you're life line. Keep fighting hun. This place and the world needs a few more Bills!!! And you still have that shoulder if you need it. Loves ya!
     
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thank You!
     
  11. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    We're here for you Bill :hug: we don't think you are a waste.
     
  12. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bill, how you doing today? Hope things are even a teeny wee bit better.
     
  13. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    well, its nice to see you reading what you wrote. im glad that you had a turn around on your thinking.

    manytimes we need to stop AND THINK ABOUT WHAT WE ARE THINKING.

    im glad this worked for you. why allow a bad relationship spoil what you have left for you ??

    get up, brush yourself off and ride again. dont harbor anger, whats the point of that ?
    just do what you need to do for you.

    best wishes

    odiecom
     
  14. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    What you were thinking before and now... there is a fine line between what to believe. It just shows there is a certain evil inside all of us, a temptation to hate that no one can stop. That other side of you living within you... that anger and bitterness of the loss of your whole life, the love of your life, the things you cherished. When you are trapped within the confines of regret and all you can do is let go... when letting go means to tear your whole life apart. So sad. I know that feeling.
     
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