well I got to 32

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marsman, Sep 19, 2006.

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  1. marsman

    marsman New Member

    Hi my name is Keith im 32 years old and from as long as I can remember I have had this great feeling of not wanting to be on this earth, my life has not been great, lost my dad in a car accident when I was 2 years old and got bullied at school, also did not get on with my stepdad at all, and felt he was very stricked, but I can not put my finger on why I dont want to be here when i have spoke to Dr in the past I have felt that they do not understand and I have seen many DRs, from about the age of 15 I took my first overdose of about 15 parocetamol but nothing happend was abit sick but nothing so anyone could tell what I had done, my family did not speak much and i could not talk to them about my problems at school I use to go home after school and go lie on my bed and sleep, spent most of my school years in my room at night, when I left school I still Felt very aloan and down and that I wish it would end, so I took many more overdoses and was in and out of hospital and my fmaily found out but could not understand why I was doing it, I just felt I had no one to talk to in my family about anything,
    after being in hospital for a while I came out and got a new job and was ok for abit, but for some reason it always comes back this time I was dam shore it was going to work, so I got into my car and drove down motorway at about 3am and just kept driving down coming of at the next junction and then driving back what I was trying to do was pluck the courage up to drive my car into the bridge i must have drove up and down that same road 50 times untill I did it but guess what I hit a barrier instead of the bridge, I was hurt abit but not to much, the police came and I just said i was driving abit to fast i dont think the took that in, anyway years down the line im still here and been addicted to a drug called co-codamol and have been for 14 years i take well over 28 a night and im still here so im sure someone is watching over me they must be,,,,thanks keith x
    ps sorry about the spellings and grammer lol :unsure: :unsure:


    I would like people to get intouch with me that have had the same feelings for most there life and that have found a way to deal with it.
     
  2. kc_o

    kc_o Active Member

    Hi keith,

    i m going to be 38 soon, but i still understand what u going through. Cos i have the same feeling most of the time. I am not try preach any religion here but what i did was go back to the religion that i believe in and try to cope with every day life as best as i can with the help of prayer and other thing.


    I m not saying everything is ok now, i still feel bad most of the time but at least I can stop hurting my self.
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yeah, well I guess you are hear. i hope I am not here at 32 I hope I am not here at 25, I am 21. I hate life as much as the next person. But if you are glad to be here then good for you.
     
  4. marsman

    marsman New Member

    thanks for your message i did try and turn to religian but did not change anything, ive just come to the conclusion that my tablets will take me in a few years and i will be out of this hell hole.... thanks for message xx
     
  5. Lux5

    Lux5 Member

    Well, the scary thing is - I am seeing myself going down to the same path as you are. The good thing is to know that you are not alone. Let's just hope we can save ourselves before it is too late.

    My best wishes to you.
     
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