Well, I'm ready to go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nok1888, Nov 20, 2014.

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  1. nok1888

    nok1888 Well-Known Member

    With the people in power (Dr & shrink) decided I wasn't good enough to treat or care about for the past year, and after all this time I'm ready to go. I've never felt worse in my life, I've been close but not this bad. I've been getting worse over the past year. I'm only short on one thing before I can kill myself and as soon as I have it I'll be away, peace at last. I've got it worked out, once 100% ready I will move away from my wife go down England where I have no ties to me or where I'm from then that'll be it. That way my wife will never have the bother of funeral arrangement or cost, the council can just burn me.

    Wife got cpn out to me yesterday and that ended with an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist this morning at half 11. There's no point to it but I'll go if it helps my wife. As long as I don't end up in hospital, that's all I need.

    I've not been on this site for some time, tbh I forgot about it. Maybe if it occurred to me to come here I might have had someone with an ounce of interest and things might have been different
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you remembered us but sorry for the difficult times you are having. I do hope they are able to provide you some support (some meaningful support) at your appt today . Please keep talking to us and let us know what is going on to get some support and possibly ideas to help.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    - Ben
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    WE care and we do understand I am sorry the professionals are not hearing you or understanding you. I do hope when you go see your pdoc you get him or her to listen ok you spell it out clearly how low you are so you can get that support that care and understanding you deserve. Don't leave your wife with so many questions and pain hun get the support and care you deserve hugs
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're here now, and there are those of us who are interested, who will listen and do our best to help. What's going on, what's brought you to this point?
  5. nok1888

    nok1888 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the replies. My Dr's decided to change my medication for my bipolar etc and then left me to it, that was last year. I went back to my doctor a few times telling him the new med weren't working and I was going downhill quick but he refused to do anything without the say so of my psychiatrist who ignored my requests for an appointment and things just got worse and worse.

    However I went to my psychiatrist today because I just can't walk out on my wife after all she's done for me and the fact she's stuck by me through the worst so I've decided to try fight once again. Today the Dr agreed to change my medications over the next week including changing my anti psychotic.

    I'm going to try stick with it for the sake of my wife and try the new medication and hope it works. God knows it's hard though as I'm sure you all understand
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad that the Dr listened today and really hope the med change will have a positive effect. I know (as do most here) how very difficult things are and applaud you for sticking with it even when just trying to get help is sometimes afight. You are worth it and deserve the chance for some happiness.
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Nok1888 we all understand and the important thing to remember, just take one day at a time. You take care of yourself and remember to post here for support. Take Care.
  8. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    I hope that the change in medication helps. It sounds as if you and your wife love each other and this means that at least one person other than the people here would be devastated by your suicide. Not even allowing your wife to say goodbye is the illness talking I think. It is hard enough to deal with a death, let alone one where you don't have the opportunity to mourn.
    Take it an hour at a time. We know how hard it is but if you have someone you love it is worth it.
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