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Well---it finally happened--I've been terminated

Discussion in 'Work and Financial Problems' started by Kiwi2016, Feb 2, 2018.

  1. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    Hiya Kiwi.

    Don't apologise, we're all here for you.

    Once again I'll probably miss the mark, but thought I'd throw my tuppence worth in.

    There's been a multitude of occasions in my life that I've walked away, gone quietly, and generally avoided a scenario rather than facing it head on. For me personally, they're probably the reason I needed to find this site in the first place. I wish I could go back and change my decisions, and coming to terms with the fact that I can't is the ultimate aim of my healing.

    My point is that I believe it's better to regret facing something, that forever living with the dreaded "what if?" thoughts. It's kind of like the saying "better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all".

    The choice you have really has nothing to do with professional integrity, you've shown that already, so we'll rule that one out for a start. In truth, you've proven your integrity in all respects, so it's more about how YOU will feel rather than what others will think of you.

    By slipping quietly away your mind may be simply attempting to avoid reality, I do it all the time; saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in life to do, whether it be to a job, friends, or a loved one, so it's often seen as easier just to avoid it. The trouble is the reality surfaces again later on, and then we begin to regret what we can't take back. Embrace closure, don't ignore it.

    I say go for it! Whether it's something small or a massive party is really just about what you prefer as a person; but whatever you do, go out with a bang!! :p Just like in showbiz, always leave them wanting more. Don't be afraid of sadness and tears, there's bound to be some, but they just prove what an emotional person you are and show people how much you care.

    Terminated or not, you were clearly still an important part of the company and even more so to the ones who want to wish you well on your coming journey. The circumstances of your leaving are irrelevant, show the ones who care about you how much you will miss them; show the ones that don't how much strength you have and that this is by no means the end of Kiwi!! :cool:

    How about this for a final thought: As opposed to going with the idea of 'mourning' the end of an era, go with the attitude that this is a celebration of new beginnings! Like I said before, you just never know what's around the corner. Let your friends wish you a bon voyage as you travel to new destinations in your life; hold your head up high and do not simply walk away, but strut your funky stuff outta that door at the end of the night and leave a long lasting and joyous image of you in their minds. Shine brightly, never fade away, life's just too damn short!

    "Do not go gentle into that good night; rage, rage, against the dying of the light"

    If all else fails, ask the Zen Master what he would do! :)

    Biggest {{{{{Hedgehugs}}}}} to you. X
  2. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Thank you...needed that...so will go with reception i guess...and as the saying goes put my big girl pants on...as Know you are right...and will reread all the support all of you have given me to help me get through...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am just reading this now and i am sorry for all you have been put through I say go to the retirement party ok i too had to chose weather to go or not and i did. By going to the retirement party it helps you to close that part of your life and helps also the people who worked with you to say their goodbyes and show you how much they truly care. It will help it be a more positive ending not so isolated. I hope this helps I hope all went well with the director meeting.
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  4. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    LMFAO! Love the big girl pants comment.

    I don't know what the etiquette for party dress is there, but may I suggest a little more than just pants!! :p Having said that, it would certainly leave one hell of a lasting impression!! :rolleyes:

  5. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Thanks and know you as others are right...so will be brave and just do it...think director was a bit surprised but not shocked so they probably shared with her that I was a "problem employee" so to speak...but realizing that I handled it the best way I could to at least get retirement and that this is the end of this chapter of my life but also a new beginning just wish I had a bit of a road map but that is life sometimes...but trying to internalize a quote a friend sent....

    "A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking. Because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings."
  6. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Ok..have to admit I'm old...so what in real words does LMFAO mean...but yes do plan on wearing a top...but did make me laugh...:)
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  7. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    Haha. Yeah sorry, I don't know why on earth I use "text speak". LMAO means "laugh my ass off". The F is probably self explanatory :rolleyes:. It's just a phrase that gets used here a lot to mean something's funny.

    I'm sure whatever you wear you'll be the Belle of the ball. :cool:;)
  8. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Ah thank you...sometimes explanations are needed for the old and decrepit...you're too sweet...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  9. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    Not old and decrepit, young and alive!! Remember to find that inner child.....BLEH :p .....and go have some fun.

  10. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Yes I am determined to do that---very well hidden but will find her yet...to start on a new life and leave the old one behind...and am really seriously thinking of printing out your previous post and leaving it in a box for someone to find---nice thought but know wont do it in reality but makes me feel good just the same...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  11. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    Now that's an attitude we could all do with! You go girl!!

    Don't worry, keep this up and I suspect she'll find you. Next time it rains get your wellies on and go jump in some puddles! :D
  12. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Thanks for vote of confidence...may get a chance to jump in a puddle this week surprisingly enough...though will be small given where I live...but whatever the size of the puddle will do with gusto...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  13. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hi Kiwi,

    I just read your post, sorry I didn't see it earlier

    If you want to avoid the one or two that are a problem, but do want to see the colleagues that you would miss, there may be a way to arrange things so as to filter out the ones you don't want to see.

    Those two probably don't want to be there anyway, so it's just a matter of arranging things so that they can have an excuse for not being there without making it obvious that they are avoiding you.

    If you arrange to have a lunch or dinner or something with colleagues, maybe arrange it so that it is not held during work hours. Either some place away from work during week, or an a weekend.

    You might want to let whoever is doing the arrangements to know about your feelings.

    So one thing they could do is the ones making the arrangements could send out an email saying "We'd like to arrange a party for Kiwi, either a dinner at a restaurant sometime after work during the week, or on the weekend. If you'd like to attend, please RSVP with what times/days would work best for you, or what times you couldn't make it".

    Then either the two you don't like won't respond, or you can just arrange it at a time they can't make it.
  14. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    That might make a lovely header sent out in an email invitation to your colleages...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.
  15. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Thanks for the suggestions as may do that with the colleagues that I will miss but also going forward with some reception of sorts...as well...I guess as a statement to myself and others that you may have won the battle but that though tattered I am still standing and give the impression at least that I am going on to a new wonderful chapter in my life---what that is who knows...Also realizing that the timing of this with the new director out of the office/country was timed as I do not believe that despite all that I am a fault for...she would not have supported this decision right now but would have given me a chance to prove myself otherwise and that the one colleague who has been instrumental in all this realized that so pushed this through. Have to admit I am a firm believer in karma so will see this through and do as much as I can that is reasonable in next 2 weeks to get everything organized as in the end we are all replaceable...just in my case a bit sooner than had planned. But such is life...
  16. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it definitely seemed like a set-up to me.
  17. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Yes...it was but given all that has happened in the last two years will be glad to be free of it as hard as it is to deal with it right now..just have to look forward and not back...as can't change the past ---my actions or inactions my mistakes nor the people who played a role in it all...so going to try to put all behind me in 7 days and do the best that I can until the 27th and then start to figure out what want to do next...admit at moment haven't a clue which is a first for me so will not be easy as do need to get a job in short order of some kind...but seeing the same dynamics beginning to be played out with new director will admit am relieved that I wont be there to endure another round of that...as don't think I could do it to be honest...so in the end perhaps as hard as this is it may actually be for the best in the long run...

    Thank you all for all your support through this you have been a lifeline for me---from your sound advice, encouragement. empathy, humor and genuine friendship---wouldn't have made it through all of this without all of you...a heartfelt thank you from the bottom of my heart...
  18. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    I just wanted to thank you all for your support encouragement sage advice and genuine caring and compassion you have all so selflessly given to me over my long saga. The volunteers at one of the historic sites planned a Victorian tea in my honor and were joined by all the staff, former colleagues, former volunteers, and friends except the one colleague who thankfully took the last two days off. The new director I realize was blindsided by all of this and has shown me nothing but kindness and compassion and professionalism to leave with my dignity intact. The canopy was set up, 10 round tables complete with tea linens, floral center pieces, place cards, tea, coffee and savories and sweets. There were probably 60 people there who wrote heartfelt cards, signed a photograph booklet of memories gave me gift cards (not a surprise alot of Starbucks ones), a framed picture of the house, orchids (which my husband is now the carer of given my track record with house plants)....but more important than all of that was their genuine expression of friendship which I will forever treasure and will help me get through the next few weeks as I try to figure out this next chapter in my life. I couldn't have done this all without all of you here. My last day is Monday and though I haven't gotten done all I feel I should have gotten done to ensure an easy transition of navigating projects left undone. my chaotic paper and computer files I realize that I have done the best that I can given the time that I had. So thank you---you are all in a word my extended family which I feel so fortunate to have found .
  19. Karmitkurmit

    Karmitkurmit King of the Hedge SF Supporter

    @Kiwi2016 . Hiya Kiwi. I'm not entirely sure what time it is where you are so I may be late or early, but I hope your last day goes well and you utterly enjoyed your leaving party! It sounded amazing! Although if my memory serves me correctly you've got another to come!? Get stuck in and strut your stuff. Remember to keep your head held high and if you feel the need give a bloody great BLEH! :p

    Stay strong as you make your way into the next chapter of your life. We are all here for you as always and waiting with baited breath for news and updates of all the exciting times to come.

    Massive {{Hedgehugs}} to you. :)
    Kiwi2016 and Lulabelle like this.
  20. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Thank you....so much...
    Karmitkurmit likes this.