1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  1. I got a phone call and a letter from the wife's attorney today. She isn't interested in trying to work things out. Or more accurately, her damned meddlesome MOTHER isn't allowing her to be interested in working things out.

    The end
     
  2. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    How do you feel about that? You're a long way away. She was screwing you up. Is this good for you in the long run?
     
  3. How do I feel? Hurt. I held on to some hope that she would take the time to reflect, get sober, and we could have what we had for the first 10 years.
     
  4. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Yeah. I can understand that. But without that sobriety you can't deal with that shiz anymore. And alcoholics aren't that inclined to quit. She's prob worse now that you're not there nagging her.
    Im sorry that you feel bad. I do think you'll find yourself in a better place down the road.
     
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  5. I'm so through.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    We're here for you with open arms. I know everything is going so bad for you but we are here to help. Don't let one person ruin or dictate your life. You deserve more than that.
     
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  7. It's more than just her Petal. Everywhere I turn, I get let down or hurt or trampled. Home. work. church, SF. Constant hurts and letdowns. Ive had it up to here (holds hand above head). Just totally out of energy and patienceand will to carry on.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry you feel let down by everyone I really am. You need to start building up confidence again in yourself and learn to slowly but surely trust again and the next time you might not be let down. Are you in therapy? Therapy is great for building confidence. You can get through this horrendous time but it will take time, patience and trust. You deserve to be respected and supported just like everyone else, we're on team 'you'' :)
     
  9. I'm not in therapy Petal. I'm not in anything at all. I used to be in church but they also left me out in the cold. At this point I just don't care anymore.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Would you go to therapy? Most people when they think of therapy they think ''oh paying people to talk to me'' my therapist is clearly not in it for the money as sometimes he doesn't even charge. I think you should go, is it an option available to you? The skills I learned in therapy are invaluable and will help me through most situations is life. It is life changing, hard but rewarding too.
     
  11. I went last summer when my suicide plan was discovered. But I lost that benefit when I lost my job. No insurance, don't know anybody here so not really an option.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Okay, I see. Ok Therapy is out...maybe. You could do your best to find out if there is affordable counseling in your area (google is your friend there).

    SF is always here for you.We all have our ups and downs here, bad days, good days, just like a family does but at the end of the day we DO care about each other an that is what makes SF unique from any other forum or website and I am not only saying that because I am staff, I am saying it because its true.

    What else do you feel could help you?
     
  13. brightlight

    brightlight SF Supporter

    HUGS and healing, I've been touching rock bottom myself lately, also because of someone else's addiction, but I ask myself in the emptiness, what about love and Light and peace and the feelings that makes you who you are, they far outweigh the crappy feelings of who I am not, and I rise up and shine again, but I also know it's my journey, and my purpose to learn how to shine in the darkness, to struggle to feel love and loved in the face of despair. And more importantly I know this feeling of old, the abandoned alone feeling, has been traveling with me forever, before I ever laid eyes on my partner, I was feeling this same crappy feelings.
    I practicing self love as much as I can, the downs are getting shorter and shorter.
    Try and focus inwards and show yourself those feelings that you're SF name suggests, be gentle with yourself.
    More hugs and healing
    P
     
  14. brightlight

    brightlight SF Supporter

    Double post
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2018
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  15. Heavens Heart

    Heavens Heart Well-Known Member

    I' so sorry I as sure the hurt is from beyond plain painful hugs all that's good wished for you I hope peace finds you
     
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  16. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Seeker

    I'm going through a really hurtful breakup myself right now (5 years together), I can so relate to that. When I go down into the pits of despair it feels like no matter where I turn there are just hostile faces, the feeling of emptiness and loneliness becomes unbearable. I've realized that it is mostly my own doing, it's a coping mechanism where the fear of abandonment makes me push people away so I wouldn't get more hurt. I have the luxury of AA and get to practice letting go of the fears in a safe environment. It can be tough as nails but even small surrender makes a difference. The pain becomes more manageable and people seem more friendly towards me.

    Please don't give up, there is a possibility for peace.

    Ps I love your avatar :)
     
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  17. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Sending hugs
     
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  18. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Now that you know what driection it is heading for that chapter. Its nearing its end. You got your dogs, your health and SF. (Churches I'm stayin out of it) there is always tabula rasa. A clean slate somewhere. You are a good guy, a saint to even have put up with 5 years of abuse thrown at you by her. You deserve the best so do what you always wanted to do, add places to visit on your list and don' forget to bring your dogs after all they are truly the mans best friend.

    Hugs there