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Well, it's finally here

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#1
Hey..it's been a while. The letter from the police came. I am a 16 year old girl and I did a really stupid thing that I regret SO much. Like, I can't even begin to explain how much I regret it. I shoplifted :(. Yeah.. I know. It's so fucking stupid that not even words can explain it. It happend a little over a month ago. Police came and asked me about what happend, after that they just let me go. This is the first time I've done something like this. I had to go to a meeting with social services but they didn't feel like I needed any further help, so that was the end of it. Now the letter came and I got called to the station. I.am.shitting.my.pants. I'm scared to death. Idk what to do. Ot's on monday too. Since it happend I haven't gone into a store. I just live with constant anexiety.
(My parents weren't that mad and no, I sadly cannot talk to them about how I'm feeling since I'm too embarassed)
I'm just so fucking scared... What will they tell me? What will happend. Fuck :(
 

IDontWantToDie

Well-Known Member
#2
Breathe.
I dont know a single person who hasn't shoplifted anything in their life... so.. its fine. We all do this stupid shit as kids and teenagers, and even adults. Feeling guilt and shame about it isnt helping anyone. Not helping you or anyone. Whats done is done.
Two. Dont worry too much about ur parents. A year will pass, and you will all be laughing about this.
I really doubt you will go to jail or anything for this. Just... i know its not that easy, but calm down.
Try saying: so what?
It's allright, talk about how you feel here if there is no other option. It helps, just shout it out
*brohug
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#3
Breathe.
I dont know a single person who hasn't shoplifted anything in their life... so.. its fine. We all do this stupid shit as kids and teenagers, and even adults. Feeling guilt and shame about it isnt helping anyone. Not helping you or anyone. Whats done is done.
Two. Dont worry too much about ur parents. A year will pass, and you will all be laughing about this.
I really doubt you will go to jail or anything for this. Just... i know its not that easy, but calm down.
Try saying: so what?
It's allright, talk about how you feel here if there is no other option. It helps, just shout it out
*brohug
True, what is done is done. I just can't help but feel like a fucking moron, but htats my problem. Now, in Sweden people as young as me cannot go to jail for a petty theft. I will probably get a "warning", aka that nothing happends this time but next time it will. I'm sitting here and shaking. Im so scared
 

IDontWantToDie

Well-Known Member
#4
True, what is done is done. I just can't help but feel like a fucking moron, but htats my problem. Now, in Sweden people as young as me cannot go to jail for a petty theft. I will probably get a "warning", aka that nothing happends this time but next time it will. I'm sitting here and shaking. Im so scared
It's normal. Actually, i'd be freaking out too. But we must not fall prey to our emotions. At some point we have to do something about them.

You don't have to do this, but here's a guided short meditation. Try it if/when you are ready. Our thoughts change stuff. I'm not shitting u, meditation helps. No pressure tho.
In any case, hope you will feel better soon!

 
#5
I'm just so fucking scared... What will they tell me? What will happend
The police will likely not care about this at all. They've got bigger things to deal with. If I had to guess, they'll have you sit a in a waiting room for a while, then they'll have someone come out and say, "No more of this shoplifting young lady", then they'll say you can go.
 
#6
I remember when I was a kid, a bunch of kids were at the school bus stop, and were throwing snowballs at cars as they passed. I finally decided I'd try doing the same. It was just my luck that the car I threw the snowball at was a police car. The cop stopped and just wagged his finger at me, didn't even roll down the window. I felt tremendous guilt and shame after that, but really it was nothing.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#7
The police will likely not care about this at all. They've got bigger things to deal with. If I had to guess, they'll have you sit a in a waiting room for a while, then they'll have someone come out and say, "No more of this shoplifting young lady", then they'll say you can go.
I sure hope it goes like this! I don’t know what I’m expecting honestly. Somebody once told me that ”police are your ”enemy” and their job is to put you in jail”. Ever since I’ve read that it has been burried in my mind. I got all hooked up on that sentence and now I’m sitting here like the stupid teenager I am all paranoid about what will happend. I’m so fricking panicked.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#8
I remember when I was a kid, a bunch of kids were at the school bus stop, and were throwing snowballs at cars as they passed. I finally decided I'd try doing the same. It was just my luck that the car I threw the snowball at was a police car. The cop stopped and just wagged his finger at me, didn't even roll down the window. I felt tremendous guilt and shame after that, but really it was nothing.
Idk if these two situations can be compared, but I totally understand your point. This put things a little bit into prespective. Do you mean that my ”case” is that little?
 
#9
The police don't have to time or the money to waste on a petty shoplifting charge. There's really nothing to worry about.

If the police were going to put you in jail, they would have done it already.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#10
Idk if these two situations can be compared, but I totally understand your point. This put things a little bit into prespective. Do you mean that my ”case” is that little?
Police in most places here and the courts would just view how you behave, admit guilt, regret it and likely in and out the door going home to make space for major crimes and and the violent cases. And May71 has a point...if they were going to lock you up it most likely would have already happened.
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#11
My son was caught shoplifting a penguin onesie when he was 15. And 10 years later we do laugh about it - I mean, why would anyone feel the need to steal a penguin onesie??

But at the time it wasn't funny. The security guard at the store phoned me and by time I got there the police were there too. They took my son to the police station and interviewed him. I've never seen someone look as ashamed as he did, it was horrible. But after an hour or so they let him go. I wondered if they'd taken him to the police station as a way of scaring him. It worked.

Police aren't the enemy, they're not there to put people in jail. It's natural to be scared, I'd be absolutely terrified too. Just tell the truth, apologize a lot and let them know how bad you feel about it. You'll be okay *hug
 

MosesY

Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#13
If they were going to arrest you they would have done so when the original shoplifting occurred. I stole several things in my teenage years, just never got caught. It sucks you have to go through this over the weekend not knowing what will happen but just hang in there, it will be alright.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#14
If they were going to arrest you they would have done so when the original shoplifting occurred. I stole several things in my teenage years, just never got caught. It sucks you have to go through this over the weekend not knowing what will happen but just hang in there, it will be alright.
Tbh, I do have an idea of what will happend
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#15
Slow down @melinesere! You committed a very petty offence, a minor mistake, so I'm sure your anxiety about what the police will do will turn out to be disproportionate. You've had a fright, but it will all be over soon and you can draw a line under it and get on with your life :)
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#16
Slow down @melinesere! You committed a very petty offence, a minor mistake, so I'm sure your anxiety about what the police will do will turn out to be disproportionate. You've had a fright, but it will all be over soon and you can draw a line under it and get on with your life :)
I feel like I’m about to explode. Like, literally explode. I’m so f*cking scared. I have NO right to be mad about this but it is just not fair... When I got caught my friend had a bag FULL of stolen stuff (I didn’t know about it) and yet they didn’t check her bag, but checked me and I didn’t have anywhere to hide stuff. It was right under my jacket. Idk what the police will tell me, tbh the worst thing is community service. I’d rather pay all the money I have in my bank account than doing community service. I want to focuse and study more. I’ve fallen back in school because of this incident. I nned to make up for the work that I’ve missed, but all I do is lay in bed and cry about this. Such a stupid mistake, it has destroyed my life. So embarassing
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#17
Police in most places here and the courts would just view how you behave, admit guilt, regret it and likely in and out the door going home to make space for major crimes and and the violent cases. And May71 has a point...if they were going to lock you up it most likely would have already happened.
Aww hell no I don’t wanna go to court!!! You just reminded me that it is possible to go to court 4 this. Since it is my first offence, how likely is it really to send me to court? And if I really show guilt and regret? The question that echoes in my shallow head every day :| And yes it is shallow bc nobody with a brain would fuck up in this way
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#18
The police don't have to time or the money to waste on a petty shoplifting charge. There's really nothing to worry about.

If the police were going to put you in jail, they would have done it already.
Well... that’s true.. I just want to teleport to the future where everything is over. I don’t think I work that well in anxious situations 😬 I hope I don’t go to court. If I do istg I’ll off myself.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#19
Such a stupid mistake, it has destroyed my life. So embarassing
I hope I don’t go to court. If I do istg I’ll off myself.
Even if it did go to court, which is incredibly unlikely and completely unjust ified, it's not worth killing yourself over. It's such a minor mistake that so many people have made, not some terrible crime that deserves harsh punishment and humiliation by dragging you through the courts. The police aren't out to get you, and even if they were, I can't see any reason whatsoever why the prosecutor would think taking you to court is justifiable or necessary in terms of the minor nature of the offence, your clean record, remorse, and public finances. They have much bigger fish to fry and aren't going to divert resources to prosecuting you when it's not "in the public interest".

Objectively speaking, it's not the end of your world, and you will bounce back if you keep your anxiety and embarrassment in check. I'm glad you're here talking things through, but I do wish you would talk to your parents about what's going through your head so you can get their reassurance as well. Obviously they have no idea how badly this is affecting you and would be horrified you feel unable to confide in them.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#20
Even if it did go to court, which is incredibly unlikely and completely unjust ified, it's not worth killing yourself over. It's such a minor mistake that so many people have made, not some terrible crime that deserves harsh punishment and humiliation by dragging you through the courts. The police aren't out to get you, and even if they were, I can't see any reason whatsoever why the prosecutor would think taking you to court is justifiable or necessary in terms of the minor nature of the offence, your clean record, remorse, and public finances. They have much bigger fish to fry and aren't going to divert resources to prosecuting you when it's not "in the public interest".

Objectively speaking, it's not the end of your world, and you will bounce back if you keep your anxiety and embarrassment in check. I'm glad you're here talking things through, but I do wish you would talk to your parents about what's going through your head so you can get their reassurance as well. Obviously they have no idea how badly this is affecting you and would be horrified you feel unable to confide in them.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents are amazing and our relationship is also very good. They don’t seem to be worried about this situation since I think that they trust me not to do it again. But, if I went up to my slavic parents and told them about how I’m feeling they’d tell me to ”man tf up, own up to your mistakes and don’t repeat this shit!” I see nothing wrong with that, that would be a very normal response to me. That’s just how they are, even tho they love me beyond words. Ah, what I’m trying to say is that me telling them that I feel anxious and scared wouldn’t result in anything helpful. That is why I’m here, talking to you guys!

I’ve tried talking to my friends about it. However, most of my friends (5 girls!!) were there when this occured. Since that we haven’t had almost any contact. Only one of them I still talk to, but she doesn’t care that much. I feel so helpless and lost. I feel like I’ve destroyed a part of my life.
 

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