Well, it's finally here

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#41
At this point, a therapist or counsellor is not a bad idea, or ask your doctor for some meds to calm you down and get you through the next few weeks without more undue stress. You are making yourself ill with fear @melinesere , and there's no reason to let it build more because your doctor can definitely help before things get any worse.
I think I’ll be fine after the meeting. It will be like a stone is being lifted from my shoulders.
It’s the couple of days that is left now before the meeting that are going to be really fricking tough. What I am doing to myself is pretty dumb but I just can’t help it.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#42
I think you're right that things will be ok after the meeting in a few days, and as long as you're not in danger of harming yourself, you will get through it without needing to see your doc. Maybe not as calmly as you might with a little medical help, but at least the ordeal will be over very soon. I don't think the meeting will turn out as bad as you're imagining either.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#43
I think you're right that things will be ok after the meeting in a few days, and as long as you're not in danger of harming yourself, you will get through it without needing to see your doc. Maybe not as calmly as you might with a little medical help, but at least the ordeal will be over very soon. I don't think the meeting will turn out as bad as you're imagining either.
Sometimes I forget that I didn’t kill a person, I didn’t kidnap a child, I didn’t commit arson.

I fucking stole a top...or tried to steal it.
 
#44
I’m sorry that I’m taking this so far. I am very much aware of how annoying I am. Feel free to stop replying, your help has been more than enough.
Hey, it's ok. You're not being annoying. You're just really emotional about this.

Do you think it would help to tell your parents how you are feeling? Not everyone has a relationship with their parents that allows them to confide in them, but maybe?

it seems like there has to be a person with me and just repeat ”stop worrying” , ”stop overreacting” , ”you’ll be fine” over and over again..
I wonder if you could make a recording saying those things and listen to it.

Hugs. Everything is going to be ok.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#45
I hate to think how you'd react if you did do something worse - not that I think you would do anything seriously bad like kidnap someone - but sometimes people do slide down the slippery slope. You could look at getting caught as having a positive aspect, in that the stress you've experienced is a very strong deterrent to doing anything more serious in future that really could have a very bad effect on your life. Bear this in mind when you meet the police if they appear stern or harsh.
 
#46
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bunny011

Well-Known Member
#47
Hey, it's ok. You're not being annoying. You're just really emotional about this.

Do you think it would help to tell your parents how you are feeling? Not everyone has a relationship with their parents that allows them to confide in them, but maybe?


I wonder if you could make a recording saying those things and listen to it.

Hugs. Everything is going to be ok.
Do you think it would help to tell your parents how you are feeling?

Oh, I’m trying to be as quiet as I can about this. I’m really good at hiding my feelings irl. I don’t think that they notice.

I hate to think how you'd react if you did do something worse - not that I think you would do anything seriously bad like kidnap someone - but sometimes people do slide down a slippery slope. You could look at getting caught as having a positive aspect, in that the stress you've experienced is a very strong deterrent to doing anything more serious in future that really could have a very bad effect on your life. Bear this in mind when you meet the police if they appear stern or harsh.
To be honest I’m scared to even imagine the stuff I’d feel if I’d done anything that is more serious than this, not that I would EVER do that. Anyways, I espect the police to use some kind of ”scare-tactics” under the meeting. That involves being very harsh with me, which I’ll respond to with even more guilt. They’ll want me out of there by the minute I come in just because of how much I’ll repeat the word ”regret”. It is now almost 4 am here, and all I’ve done is staring into a wall thinking about ALL the possible scenarios and outcomes from the meeting. I also, visit SF and blink... occasionally 😂 Sorry, the lack of sleep is getting to me at these hours. I’m just really really really stressed, that’s all. Goodnight, expect to hear from me again sometime... when I once again, go absolute batshit crazy about this whole thing.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#50
Goodnight @melinesere , and I hope you manage to have a decent sleep. Tiredness can definitely make things seem much worse than they really are. And we are always happy to talk with you here when/if needed :)
 
#51
Oh of course! I appreciate any kind of distractions
:)
I just started the thread here
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/thread-of-soothing-things.168028/

Thank you so very much.
You're welcome!

So maybe because of you, we'll now have this thread that will go on to be awesome and help so many people! So maybe all of this will turn out to be worth it.

I'm having some technical issues atm, so I won't be able to post much for now.

There's some music on youtube, I think it's called "Wah Yantee Mantra", 2hr version, something like that. I found it mesmerizing.

There's also a couple cute videos. One is called something like "Monkey sees a magic trick" that's had 100,000,000 views.

There's another one called "Deer Wisperer".

Hugs
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#53
Goodnight @melinesere , and I hope you manage to have a decent sleep. Tiredness can definitely make things seem much worse than they really are. And we are always happy to talk with you here when/if needed :)
Just got an anexiety attack again. Went the whole day without thinking about it too much and now it hit me again. Tomorrow won’t be any easier for me. I have to take the buss there on monday, and then I’ll also meet my dad there. I’ll take whatever but getting sent to court or being prosecuted is the absolute no-no for me. My actions have consequences and I need to deal with them.. god I’m such a fucking crybaby.
 
#54
I’ll take whatever but getting sent to court or being prosecuted is the absolute no-no for me
You have zero chance of being prosecuted.

I guess the bright side is that you'll be relived when this is over.

I just updated the soothing things thread with some soothing things btw :)
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#55
You have zero chance of being prosecuted.

I guess the bright side is that you'll be relived when this is over.

I just updated the soothing things thread with some soothing things btw :)
Uggggh!!! It’s tomorrow. Trying to distract myself since thinking about it clearly doesn’t really help the situation. Thank u for updating, hugs!!
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#56
It will all be over this time tomorrow, I'm sure. What will happen will happen so instead of feeding your anxiety by going round in circles in your head, give yourself a break by doing a grounding exercise and see how you feel. Will post one to your soothing things thread.
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#57
It will all be over this time tomorrow, I'm sure. What will happen will happen so instead of feeding your anxiety by going round in circles in your head, give yourself a break by doing a grounding exercise and see how you feel. Will post one to your soothing things thread.
Alright. I have school before going tho, I won’t be able to focus on anything for sure. Tomorrow, 1.5 months of absolute hell will finally be over. Even if it won’t be over at least I’ll know what happends next. I hope it’s over after tomorrow at least. Thank you for your help, although a proper thank you to all of you who helped me through this tough time will be coming tomorrow. 😊
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#58
From what you've told us, I'm 99% sure tomorrow will be the end of it and you can finally breathe a big sigh of relief. Good luck!
 

bunny011

Well-Known Member
#59
From what you've told us, I'm 99% sure tomorrow will be the end of it and you can finally breathe a big sigh of relief. Good luck!
You have zero chance of being prosecuted.

I guess the bright side is that you'll be relived when this is over.

I just updated the soothing things thread with some soothing things btw :)
Alright, I’m home now. I was shaking on the way there bc I was so freaking scared. There were two ”cops”? That questioned me and they were pretty kind? And joked around with me a little. They showed my dad a picture of the top and my dad just started laughing right then and there at me :| understandable, I’m not mad. I got to tell them EVERYTHING and I made sure to tell them just how much I regreted it. One of them told me that about 75% of teenagers do this type of crime and that I shouldn’t be scared. Before they let me go I told them that they were never going to see me again, ever. Now I am waiting for another letter from the police that either says that I need to pay a fine or that I need to go to another meeting. The hard part is over at least, I can finally breathe and sleep again. Thank you truly for your help, SF and everyone that responded to my threads helped me a lot. You really are amazing. Thank you so much ❤️
 

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