Pretty new here considering this is my first post. But damn. Just trying to get some advice. My life is a complete fail. Have u ever had the thought that, why can't there be something to just end your life with out it being a big deal. Like poeple that just don't care for life and don't wana progress any more or see how there life would turn out. that just wana see whats next. Ive thought about this for years. I'm 18 and turn 19 in about a month. But every now and then i end up getting all emotional and thinkin about ending my life. Me and my mom had an agurement n she told me she wishd i would just go fuckin die or commit suicide. she is pretty much the only fiamly i have. If you would call faimly someone that smokes crack and neglects there kids for most of there life. My father left when i was about 10ish. and my brother is currently in jail, and has been for a very long time. He gets out in about 4 days. and i don't think i can face up to it. I don't wana tell him how my life has been or is going. I have no way out of this situation. I have friends but non that would take me in. no where to go or shyt to do. I feel im going to be homeless soon. My grandmother owns the house we live in and the land its on. thats pretty much the reason i havent been kicked out on the street yet. But my mother constantly talks bad about me to her. and pretty much flips every story about us arguing to her side and makes me the bad person. Soon im going to have no where to go and no place to live it seems like. I havnt learned barly any life skills. I don't even know how to fill out an aplication for a job. I'm thinkin these should be my last few days of so called "life". I'm not gona live on the streets or try and rob stuff to make money, i feel that my only solution is to end this shyt. Its like the only way out. Ive put a xxxx so many times. I just don't have to guts to do it. Witch brings me back to the start. An easy "not a big deal" way to die. I can't cant stop crying idk what im going to do.