Well this is great...

[Illusion]

I was actually starting to meet some new online buddies on a support site for my Social Anxiety that I was on. I had a rough start on that site in the past but was giving it another try. I thought I was blending in for a bit until I got ran off the site & nearly banned from it for being "hasty & negative". A lot of people on there were telling me to sort out my depression & negativity issues before even discussing my Social Anxiety on there cause people on there are looking to be positive & that I was being a bad influence on them. A lot of them don't have it as bad as I do it seems like.. They're like regular people with just a bit of issues. I'm just completely fucked. I'm a pessimistic person. I LOVE to rant and don't even try to discuss positive things & be positive anymore cause it always turns out to be so fuckin' cheezy & pointless in the end. I hate discussing positive stuff actually.. I just love to rant to much cause the friends I've had for a while now love it as well & go along with me. Thats something that just makes me happy.. Being able to find others that share the same negatives as me & just ranting with them about it. Everyone acts like you're the devil if you don't like kids, have a negative outlook on life, love to rant, etc. Perhaps I am the devil? Nah.. I don't try to kill anything or anybody. So why the hell do I have to be like this? Why can't I just want to become a more positive person? Why do I love being negative & bitchy? Nobody else loves it hardly. I really just need to get that gun already and die. I'm so fuckin sick of living that it isn't funny...

 

[imyouroldman]

You just be you! You rant away. Don't worry about fitting in there, that wasn't your audience anyway...
You have stuff to say and you should say. Not everybody can hear what your saying, but I KNOW that there are people who want to hear you rant! So you rant away, I'm listening.....and let's leave the firearm out of this,:hugtackles: besides you said "Nah.. I don't try to kill anything or anybody. "

 

[Illusion]

awwwww thanks. :hugtackles:

I know I get on a lot of peoples nerves though... My family (mom & step dad) constantly reminds me of how much I get on their nerves with the way I am since they don't understand me at all. I don't even understand myself most of the time.. Seems like my dad is the only one that gets me most of the time. A lot of people bash him to. :|

 

[Speedy]

Sending more hugs your way... Here they come! :hugtackles: :hugtackles:

 

[imyouroldman]

awwwww thanks. :hugtackles:

I know I get on a lot of peoples nerves though... My family (mom & step dad) constantly reminds me of how much I get on their nerves with the way I am since they don't understand me at all. I don't even understand myself most of the time.. Seems like my dad is the only one that gets me most of the time. A lot of people bash him to. :|

Hey if your dad gets you that's GREAT. Seems like you and your dad should have a heart to heart. You would never find a better friend!!!

 

[Illusion]

Sending more hugs your way... Here they come! :hugtackles: :hugtackles:

:hugtackles:

Hey if your dad gets you that's GREAT. Seems like you and your dad should have a heart to heart. You would never find a better friend!!!

Yeah. I just wish more people would get me... Even someone on that other site had said "If you worry about little kids accepting you then no adult can accept you". I smarted off then and said my dad accepts me and they said "Why are you even on this site spreading your negativity?". I wasn't even trying to be negative on there. I was just trying to see who else felt anxious & nervous around little kids. They're the one that turned the whole thing into an uproar.

 

[nolonger]

I don't really click with other people on most forums. This was like the first forum I joined. I'm a member of another one but I barely touch it, and it isn't really for socialising, more of an info one.

I was considering looking around to see if I could find a chat site for friends. Maybe even someone I could just meet in real life to see a movie with or something. But I'm pretty sure I'm heading into one of my 'social phases' where I feel like I want to talk to someone or do something. Then I get triggered and I want out. It then goes back to the way it always is, not really doing anything social.

They're like regular people with just a bit of issues.

Regular people? Strange things, they are! Don't think I've ever been one myself.


Some forums can be pretty crazy.

 

[Illusion]

lol :P. Gah I wish we lived closer. I know I say that a lot but I'd enjoy being around you. I'm never around anyone thats like me hardly. Seems like this town is filled with buttwipes. But yeah.. Lately I've entered a "social" stage as well but expect to be fading from it within the next week lol. Everytime I'm social & speak my mind I get in trouble. Just like on that site tonight. I opened up about my thoughts & opinions.. Someone didn't like it, then it turned into others not liking it.. Before ya know it I caused an uproar. I do that in person as well so most of the time I'm just like "Fuck it.. everything just seems so pointless in the end. I don't give a fuck what some happy hippy has to say about it. They can go hug a porcupine". lol I'm charming I know.

 

[Speedy]

Sending hugs your way so as to let you know I'm reading. :hugtackles:

 

[Illusion]

Awwww you're nice. :hugtackles:
lol my negative ranting is probably boring you though.
I don't know how you tolerate it.

 

[gloomy]

Those sites are horrible, and they don't help anyone. I guess it's nice to bond with people who will accept you because you think that they 'understand', but more often than not, they can't even accept themselves, so they're definitely not going to be able to accept anyone else.

If you really want help, you don't go to a website that's run by people with problems-- they know absolutely nothing and the fact that they're insecure just means they're prone to power trips and the like… added to that is the fact that if you have anger issues, it's all too easy to get frustrated on a site full of unapologetically self-absorbed people versed in pretty much all forms of emotional manipulation, who get upset at the drop of a hat.

Yeah, I was banned too-- can you tell?

 

[Illusion]

True. I've noticed what all you mentioned. You think its gonna be great to join somewhere like a SA forum cause you'll be around others with it as well & even start to expect a lot of the people to be like you but that isn't always the case. I'd relate to some but others would piss me off so bad, just like some did tonight. They would tell me how I shouldn't be feeling anxious about certain events & that I don't need to be on a site like that with my "unmotivated negative attitude". They were basically acting like they ran the site even though they didn't. I got tired of it. I've done ranted on here once about that site and told myself I'd never go back to it.. I should have listened.

I guess I feel the need to join forum sites because I can't relate to anybody around here except my dad through a phone call. Nobody will hardly listen or understand me but how can I expect others to understand me when I don't even understand my own self most the time anyways?

Plus I have a bad temper... Whenever something sets me off its like I become another person I don't even know.. Kinda like that movie "Me, Myself & Irene" if you have ever saw it. Great example of how I can get when someone ticks me off & how I originally am when calm.

I can tell you was banned by the way.. The way you ranted about sites like that just like I did being ran off of them. :P

 

[Kiba]

tbh, I find most people in general to be stupid, but that's my opinion..

Many are close minded and aren't willing to look at everything..

I guess I'm just saying there's a balance between negative comments and rants and having positive conversation..

You can't really just ignore what your head tells you to say with the ranting.. It doesn't really work..

You have to be able to get whatever your thoughts and feelings are out somehow.. But I find for me, monitoring how much I repeat or go in circles helps minimize what ppl say to me about being negative.. But I belive people need to be able to see both sides of negative and positive.. without totally refusing to see the opposite side.

 

[Illusion]

I understand ya there. I try to see the positives at times, especially when I'm trying to help someone out that I'm close to, but negatives just consume me so much nowadays to a point where pessimistic is what I am. The majority of my conversations that I enjoy are usually rants cause rants help me the most.

I guess a couple of examples of how I tend to be like are 2 youtubers named "ItsKingsleyBitch" and "jpmetz". They love ranting as well and thats pretty much all they do.

I think I'm gonna go back to mainly just recording myself on a camcorder or ranting to myself.