Well this is it ...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by EX1T, May 28, 2013.

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  1. EX1T

    EX1T Active Member

    I finally have everything together and settled on the day....

    Now to tie up the lose ends, leave reminders for my kids for the years to come that they were my only rays of light in this darkness. Seeing a solicitor to set up the trust funds for them and secure their home, find someone reliable to deliver my glimpses in the future for them.

    They will always know it wasn't them and that I'll love them no matter how or where or when.
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    EXIT, I do hope that you will somehow find a way to live. I know this is not what you want now. Still, I hope that somehow something will change your mind. I am so sorry for the pain you must feel.
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Your children will only know you chose to leave them and whatever you write will always feel that you didn't love them enough to stay around to be with them.
     
  4. EX1T

    EX1T Active Member

    You give that line as a standard response? I don't know where your personal knowledge of my children comes from.. So maybe just accept that there are ways to give closure to those one leaves behind.

    If you are talking from personal pain then I am truly sorry that your loved one did not manage to reassure you and give you closure and, if that is the case, I wish you healing and acceptance.

    And please refrain from telling me how much or how little I love my children.. I find that highly insulting. I let it go in your last response to me, but I'm not taking it again. In future, just ignore my posts and save us both additional frustration.
     
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I lost my son.
    There can never be any closure.
    I would not care what he left behind for me... I only care about him. Material things mean nothing. Love means so much more to me.

    Mine is not a standard reply - mine is fact of truth from having lived this.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    NO LETTER will ever make them understand ever i too have lost through suicide and i can tell you that they will NOT understand but if you want to believe that then your depression is tricking you more then you think NO one accepts suicide or the reasons they suffer and suffer the loss of the one they loved the most
     
  7. EX1T

    EX1T Active Member

    I am sorry for both of your losses... I obviously canot understand your pain in that regard .. All I can do is express my sympathy for you although we are complete strangers.

    My children know about illnesses, unexpected deaths through accidents and also that some people just suffer ... They understand the compassion shown to an ill pet and doing the right thing by it.. And I have every faith and peace that they will understand.

    Btw I have no diagnosis of depression but asd and PTSD, so the depression is not telling me or tricking me into anything.

    I watched my father suffer with cancer, we were lucky that we lived in a country where assisted suicide is possible and he was granted a dignified, peaceful, pain free death. Just because my "cancer" is ofa different kind, doesnt mean that I am less deserving of a peaceful death.
     
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    And you were aware that he was going to do that, I presume.

    Tell your children now what you intend and see if you get the same buy-in. Only then will you know true if what you feel is indeed how they'll react. If you are correct in what you've stated, then telling them now should not be a problem.

    Just a thought. I only wish the best for you and they.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2013
  9. EX1T

    EX1T Active Member

    They know of my position and how I feel about my existence

    In fact, I posed a hypothetical question if they would feel in any way responsible and each one said "of course not"
     
  10. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am curious - if this is all so simple to you and clear as a right and certain there are no repercussions to your children why are you here? This is a pro-life site - not a debate the merits site so you will always get pro life answers not what you seem to be looking for. Your facts as you state them are someplace between misguided and wrong in most cases, you said in another post you had been diagnosed with PTSD and depression, but decided you did not like the depression diagnosis (not sure the exact wording you used off the top of my head) , said you were a German national living in UK and assisted suicide is illegal in both countries.

    If you want support or to share thoughts on concerns or things that are making things difficult for you (which there are plenty of reasons for and you have my full support and compassion for all of them) then please post and seek that support. If you want support for your decision to commit suicide please find an alternative venue as it is tacitly encouraging suicide to those that are looking for reasons and ways to live and they will not be allowed any longer.
     
  11. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    Not the same thing.
    A hypothetical question and them not feeling responsible... well of course they should not feel responsible. They are not responsible for your actions.
    I asked you if you thought this is so right then why not tell them now and get their blessing.
    I knew the answer before I asked though.
     
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