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Well .. this is my story ..

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Indian81, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. Indian81

    Indian81 Member

    I have to say first thing that who so ever thought of this forum has done a good deed for a lot of people .. I am not sure where to start telling about me .. Well am an out of work 28 year old guy, who has no money , no friends , sits is his room for almost the whole day ,trying to battle out what life has been throwing on him for close to 15 years now and frankly is just getting tired of it.

    I really wish I could just end this all right now - right at his moment - but the only thing that stops me from doing it is thinking about my Mom and what it would do to her if I ended my life right now - I am really crying while writing this! - If there is one thing that I have left in life that is good then it is my family - my mom , my dad , my sis , my bro - had it not been for them , I would have probably ended this whole fucking shit piece of life a long time back. I know it will kill my parents if I go ahead with this and that is the only thing that is stopping me.

    I am just tired of trying so hard for even the smallest of things in life - it just feels so fuckin unfair - I have had Psoriasis since I was 10 and even though it is under control , my teens were totally messed up as I never had the courage to ask a girl out due to my insecurities with Psoriasis.. this was followed by a miserable high school and college where I dropped a year and performed miserably .. all this time , I knew I was letting my parents down - after all this bull shit I could not get a job and finally came to the US for my Mater's - again my visa was denied on the first 2 occasions and I had to wait for a whole year - then when everyone around me was getting their H1Bs , I was the only one out not getting it - I just could not find a job - I got a job but was laid off within 6 months - I dated this girl for a year and then it broke off and now my biggest worry is that if I made this girl pregnant and she is not telling me about it - I have been in the States for 5 years and have absolutely no savings while every single guy who was with me has a job, has a car and has a wife and I am on the verge of going back like a loser because I have been with out a job for so long now.

    The worst thing that is eating me is that I think I have made my ex gf pregnant .. I know this sounds extremely stupid but it is driving me mad - and she is such a bitch that if she knew I was worrying over it , she would make sure NOT to tell me for sure that she is not pregnant..

    I feel like a total failure .. I am sitting here in US - I have next to no friends I can meet , no job , no money and sometimes days go by before I actually speak to someone (even though I have 3 roommates) and the bottom line is that I am just plain tired.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey welcome sorry to hear about your struggles I hope you can maybe get some therapy to help you get yourself started again especially if you ex is pregnant You will need some support to get back on the right tract. Get some help for you okay so you can get strong again
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted to say hi, and welcome to SF!
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. Sometimes it can be tough getting work when you do not have specialized education in a specific field. With the economy as it is, many people find themselves unemployed and struggling. It is good to hear you have family that are important to you. Try not to compare yourself to everyone else. Your success should not be measured based on theirs. You are you.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I can well relate to your isolating.. I have been in total isoaltion for seventeen years..I only go out for the grocery store or Dr. appointments..
  6. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey :) welcome to sf. i hope you find theres lots of people to talk to, get ideas from and support from here :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and :welcome: :)
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