well

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Johnny Messina, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    I posted here long time ago.. wrote all kind of stuff... i had a nightmares all night long .. i woke up sick.. i don't feel that I can make things in life that makes me happy.. im trapped in kind of mariage(its not official on paper) for long time now.. Im kind of old(27) and I havent finish my education yet.. most of people like me, i can talk bs and im not bad looking and i have flashy car and stuff i dont care about... This will sound stupid but I wanted to wake up one christmas next to a women I love w all my hearth and maybe two kids and a dog.. In some world where I don't need to worry about how I messed up my life and how chances I have to be happy ever again are like zero. Also there was one person who loved me unconditionaly in my life.. he died not that long ago.. i sometimes wake up in tears.. I dont know maybe today is the day for me...... Ciao ragazzi
     
  2. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Stay strong. Here if you want to talk more
     
    2 people like this.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    27 is not old ok you are just starting life you can chose whatever you want to go after in your field of education
    Lots of time and hope left for you talk to someone that can get you support you need to get started
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    tnx.... well im still here, that's a good thing :)
     
    2 people like this.
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you're still here :)
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Kamilla

    Kamilla Member

    I'm almost 24 with no degree and no husband. Everyone else moves on and I dont. I know how you feel.
     
    4 people like this.
  7. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Kamilla thanks for your reply... Next year or so, maybe year and a half are so important for me.... I set my goals highest I can reach because otherwise I would just give up.. Somethimes when Im improving and getting little by little closer to my goals I'm fine.. But when I feel I am or I did step backwards I feel I will explode and It kills my health in every possible way... It's also weird because I love my girlfriend and I'm sure I want her to be my wife, but sometimes she's horrible to handle.. The worst thing is that she is not very nice person when I'm in "knockdown", when Im fine, she's great... Also since this relationship is really really long now, we live together for a very long time to, my sex drive is not that great but I tend to like some other girls, sometimes it kills me when I meet someone and I like the girl and I see she likes me too, I can't do anything about it because I don't want to cheat my gf in any way.... The only good thing is that I've set my goals and Im doing anything I can to reach them, and I don't have that much time (1,5 year which in reality is not that much) which is great, it means I'll fail or some day I may be happy again.. But I'm still confused and have my ups and downs often which I really hate.. But however I decided to be a gambler as I always was... its "all in" for me, no way back... Ill do it or Ill die trying..
     
  8. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Hardcore or die..... no other way for me anymore... and I like it :D :p
     
  9. Ravengirl

    Ravengirl Active Member

    27 is not old you can start over again!

    I am 23,had almost everything in life, university,friends, great job, family... But all of a sudden my OSD started getting worse and I failed my univerity, I stopped having any contact with my friends , lost my job....
    This year I started styding again. I am not feeling very well... But I hope I can pull myself together. Constant anxiety is every day present... but I try at least to concentrate on learning.
    Wishing you all the best, never give up.
     
    2 people like this.