I seriously just don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to anyone about except on here. Everyone's got great advice on here. But its the same subject I've been in for a while. But with new drama. The more I don't stand up and say NO for myself the more stressed I get. The longer its going to drag out and be used or convinced. Wtf can't I say a simple 2letter word. It came out easy when I was a kid. I feels like its the worst word that could ever come out of my mouth. In my head I tell this person off easily. But its constant!!! I don't think about anything els. It didn't even give me relief to reject the calls. She showed up at my house! I can't take it anymore its taking a toll. I'm want to hurt myself over it. And its a shame. Where did I sign up for this in the first place. Why do I have to be tested so hard. I hate making up lies and excuses to be litteral be safe from harm. Jail or dead and I didn't even do anything, but if it went down I would be at the house, and I know at the least I will be questioned. I'm not cut out for that shit. Just thinking about makes me want to die. But I don't want to die! Not because of this shit. The situation is that they are big time drug dealers on the run, but want me to stay with them at their house cause they are scared, help them pack there stuff and help them relocate. 1. Thet they owe a lot of money to people higher then them and 2. They are running from the police. They where in a high speed chase that was called of cause of danger to the public. This is a family member that is using that as a tactic. I even said I feel suicidal, which has truth to it, but she dosnt know its because of her situation. But she was like just come up here we can help each other threw this. I just don't know. Seriously don't know. What's messed up the most is there a 2 kids in this house. Calling authority would be suicide.