Shellz...please hold on! talk to us! let us kno y u feel this way.
I kno at the moment it seems like there is no wa out, ive been there, but the fact is that i got through and im here trying to help u 2day, u can do the same! stay strong hun!
really wish i could believe that..but i dont..you know what? i dont fucking care anymore! people here dont fucking care about me no matter what i fucking say! im fucking contemplating suicide and yet nobody gives a flying fuck what happens to me!! but if i was someone who fucking complained all the god damn time then i would be cared about. but being that i need help as much as i do..i should have known better than to actually ask for help! you guys dont fucking care! you never did!
I read your other post, about being witness to your friends Suicide.
How much pain did that cause you? A lot I am sure and that is completely understandable. There are few people in this world who can understand what you went through.
There are ones I am sure who are in your life that love you and don't want anything to happen to you. Did your friends death cause devistation? I'm sure it did.........and that to would happen all over again if you take your own life.
You say no one cares? Is it possible that people care, you just aren't seeing it? Many times in deep depression which after your tragic experience you probably are it can change perception in your life. Good things can happen, but yet everything still seems so hopeless.
Please, if anything if you don't feel anyone on here can reach to you speak with someone you trust in your life. Life IS worth living.
I have seen many say this and I believe it to be true. Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem.
The pain of a suicide never goes away, that isn't what I am saying. You can however turn this into a positve to make you stronger instead of doing the same thing your friend did. It is possible your friend may have had a chemical imbalance which definately creates a feeling of hopelessness and left untreated can often lead to suicide.
I can say I for one and I am sure others here as well do care. I myself am not suicidal. I have experienced 2 suicide deaths in my life. So I come on here and if I can reach just ONE person, my time I spend on here is worth it. Do I have to come here and try to reach out and help others that honestly well none of us know one another, no I don't. But I do, because in a way I suppose it to helps me to know that maybe I can help one person seek the help they not only may need, but deserve.
Please don't give up on your life...........and PM me if you would like to talk further.
I'm sorry shellz. I've tried to reach out to others like you ever since I came here because I noticed so many had it so much worse than me. I see the pain and want to help. But in the end it turns out I'm not very good at it. I just don't always know what to do or say. And at times my own problem, small as it is, gets to me.
It seems I've failed not only you, but also someone else from here I care about very deeply has stopped talking to me. I think it's a sign I should stop trying to help for a while.
I just hate knowing that I am not good enough for my family. No matter what I do I still get abused mentally/physically. I want that to end. I have told them numerous times how much it hurts me for them to do that to me. But yet they still do it. I want that to stop. I want this to stop. I want my life to stop.
I am not surprised that you want it to stop, abuse of any form is very wrong. If you can give me an idea of your age, and if you are in the UK, then there are places and people that can help you escape that hellhole.
I really can relate to what you are saying. I have grown up knowing I am not good enough, and it is such a horrendous feeling, knowing that whatever you do, however hard you try, you are never good enough. But it is important that you realise that you are important, you are a special person, and most likely, once you leave that place, your confidence and self esteem will grow and improve.
Killing yourself let's the abusers win, and that's not right. They deserve to lose, and the best way for them to lose is for you to show them that all they have put you through has not stopped you from being a brilliant, successful, caring, loving person.
It is hard, but try to keep fighting, even if it is just so that they don't win.
Like I said, my PM box is open if you want to chat