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  1. I posted my feelings on here weeks ago, saying that I was suffering. Complaining that my life had nothing to offer me, that no one loved me...

    A girl that I was friends with in high school died three days ago. Lauren xxx, at 18 years old, made one stupid decision behind the wheel of a car and now her life is over. Done. Her family will never hug her again. She will never get to go to college. There seems to be an odd amount of death lately with Sean xxx and Sarah xxx... in May... they were also two friends in high school and Sean was possibly one of the greatest people I will ever meet in the time that I have left on this earth. And then xxx... my xxx... my love... I just don't know how to grasp the concept of two 19 year olds, a 20 year old, and an 18 year old all dying not only within months of each other, but with so much life left in them. What kind of sick and twisted fucking sadistic god would kill four people who wanted to live, who could have made this world a better place, and leave me, someone who can't even begin to appreciate life, living? It seems unfair.

    God, please just let me go into that abyss next time... don't save me anymore when I feel like dying. Let someone else keep their life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2009
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ashleigh,

    Welcome to the forums.

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss :(
    It's understandable that you feel angry and depressed. You need to give yourself space and time to grieve properly.
    It might be a good idea to see a counsellor to share your thoughts with, they can help you to cope and move forward.
    Feel free to message me anytime x
    Stay safe!
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    With all that has happened to you, it is understandable that you are feeling as you are...please accept my condolences and big hugs, J
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Have you ever thought that there is no God? Time is decay and sometimes being at the wrong place at the wrong time can cause surprises. Pretend your an ant, and you see a human crush one of your family. Life has never been fair. Nature is a game of luck, and sometimes your unlucky.

    It feels horrible to lose ones you care so much about. Good luck.
  5. Yeah, I've thought about it. A lot, actually. It's a fair argument. But I don't think you should try to force your beliefs down on someone who wants to believe.

    And yeah, it does feel horrible. Nothing like the feeling of wanting to die for someone else. Truly magical, totally. It's ridiculous feeling that way for four different individuals at once. Unfortunately, life goes on for those who don't want it, and life ends for the ones who deserve it. Go figure.

    Thanks for sharing.
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