I'm not entirely sure what it is that I want to say. I have around 11 months before I can kill myself and that is just too long. I don't really know what to do the in the meantime. I hate my life so much but I can't pull some ineffective attempt that will end in the hospital or something else stupid. I have not one reason to keep living. And you know what? It doesn't matter, the world doesn't care and I'm past the point of really caring myself. Life goes on and all that. Doesn't really seem to be a reason to even post this but whatever I guess.