welps ...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jossio_T, Feb 8, 2008.

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  1. Jossio_T

    Jossio_T New Member

    umm hi .. this is my first post ... so here is what i gotta say ....

    i am the person that my friends come to when they have problems ... i comfort them and i help them through it the best i can ..... they all thank me for being there for them ...... but the thing is ... when i have problems ... i feel so uncomfortable telling people about it ..... i dont tell anyone .... i just bottle it up and try and not worry others with my problems because i hate it when others worry for me ... it makes me feel more worse knowing that i made them feel that way .... this is the first time i am ever talking about my problems .... and on more than one occasion i actually tried to kill myself ..... my life is good there are some rough times ... but when i do something wrong,get yelled at,get bad scores,i cant stop thinking about it ... i would always think .... why did i do this stupid thing to make them so angry .... or .... im just a waste of space in my family because i cant get anything right! ..... and dont forget the .... god im so stupid! when am i going to just stop and grow up! .... i just get this useless feeling inside and it never goes away ..... i blame myself for everything .... i cant help but think that way ..... everywhere i go ... i hide behind a mask of smiles and encouragement and helpfullness .... but on the inside ... is a totally different person ... i can still remember grabbing the blade .... and as soon as i ripped skin ..... i couldnt bring myself to drag it any harder ... i had to stop because i got scared .... but sometimes .... suicide is all that i can think of .... does this make me a bad person? .... being a teen ..... sucks ..... im sorry if this is so long ....
     
  2. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    ok , first off i sooooo do the same thing. and im soooo the same way. as a matter of fact i would keep EVERYTHING and ANYTHING bottled up. so i know exaclty how you feel. i really do, and i feel for you, but heres the thing. a couple of days ago i opened up to a friend for the first time, and surprisingly, she comforted me..if you maybe tried opening up to the oppisite sex i think is easier, just make sure there a good friend..^_- oh yeah, quick edit...WHOHOO!!!! my 200 post..!!!!! lol
     
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