umm hi .. this is my first post ... so here is what i gotta say ....
i am the person that my friends come to when they have problems ... i comfort them and i help them through it the best i can ..... they all thank me for being there for them ...... but the thing is ... when i have problems ... i feel so uncomfortable telling people about it ..... i dont tell anyone .... i just bottle it up and try and not worry others with my problems because i hate it when others worry for me ... it makes me feel more worse knowing that i made them feel that way .... this is the first time i am ever talking about my problems .... and on more than one occasion i actually tried to kill myself ..... my life is good there are some rough times ... but when i do something wrong,get yelled at,get bad scores,i cant stop thinking about it ... i would always think .... why did i do this stupid thing to make them so angry .... or .... im just a waste of space in my family because i cant get anything right! ..... and dont forget the .... god im so stupid! when am i going to just stop and grow up! .... i just get this useless feeling inside and it never goes away ..... i blame myself for everything .... i cant help but think that way ..... everywhere i go ... i hide behind a mask of smiles and encouragement and helpfullness .... but on the inside ... is a totally different person ... i can still remember grabbing the blade .... and as soon as i ripped skin ..... i couldnt bring myself to drag it any harder ... i had to stop because i got scared .... but sometimes .... suicide is all that i can think of .... does this make me a bad person? .... being a teen ..... sucks ..... im sorry if this is so long ....
i am the person that my friends come to when they have problems ... i comfort them and i help them through it the best i can ..... they all thank me for being there for them ...... but the thing is ... when i have problems ... i feel so uncomfortable telling people about it ..... i dont tell anyone .... i just bottle it up and try and not worry others with my problems because i hate it when others worry for me ... it makes me feel more worse knowing that i made them feel that way .... this is the first time i am ever talking about my problems .... and on more than one occasion i actually tried to kill myself ..... my life is good there are some rough times ... but when i do something wrong,get yelled at,get bad scores,i cant stop thinking about it ... i would always think .... why did i do this stupid thing to make them so angry .... or .... im just a waste of space in my family because i cant get anything right! ..... and dont forget the .... god im so stupid! when am i going to just stop and grow up! .... i just get this useless feeling inside and it never goes away ..... i blame myself for everything .... i cant help but think that way ..... everywhere i go ... i hide behind a mask of smiles and encouragement and helpfullness .... but on the inside ... is a totally different person ... i can still remember grabbing the blade .... and as soon as i ripped skin ..... i couldnt bring myself to drag it any harder ... i had to stop because i got scared .... but sometimes .... suicide is all that i can think of .... does this make me a bad person? .... being a teen ..... sucks ..... im sorry if this is so long ....