went to go buy some "tools" today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hi my name is, Sep 3, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. hi my name is

    hi my name is Well-Known Member

    i feel like i'm observing myself go through the actions to complete this. i went to walmart to put on layaway some supplies i need but layaway isn't there. i hope they have what i need in two weeks because if not i'm fucked. i quit my shit ass factory slave job but i leave everyday for it because my rents would choke if they found out. the lies just build up but i don't care. i pretend to go but just drink n smoke to myself and it's so hard i hate being by myself.. my rents think they will be getting 700 dollars in there bank so i can save for college.. my dad actually wanted me to start up the account to send it to them today but i quit my job so i will only be getting 500 and im blowing it all on the final weekend and i need about 150 to get everything too so it's going to be a wild 350 dollar weekend. in a huge hole but w/e.. i quit my job cause there is no point to working anymore and i quit one specific day because i wanted to play hockey.. best one out there too i went to a few ohl camps but smoking too much chronic fucked my head up a lil slower ehhhh.. super talented in all areas except thinkin straight sometimes.. a lot of people look up to me too so i guess i'm just saying that if it helps some people know that role models deal with depression too
     
  2. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    i always fucked up my suicide but id rather be alive in a house then a failed suicide attempt and be homeless. If it fails i hope you still have a place to lay your head at night. and If you just kill your self what will that tell the people who look up to you. They might just consider suicide more if they ever feel down one day. Hell some might even consider suicide after a person they look up to dies. I know how when your down everything means fuck all but it wont when you dont have the luxuries you had before. I always do stupid shit when im down and depressed but i always regret them after i do the stupid things. And you can even check my earlier post but i thought getting put on meds or getting help sucks and is not worth it and it took me two years and several hospitalizations to realize that its much better to be helped but remember most of the help out there is bullshit and makes it worse but you have to stick in there and wait and try until it works.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.