Well the expected happened. Wasting two months of feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, and wishes. The thing is it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Nothing to hold me back from moving to the next country after next June. I have tried my damndest to meet someone here. I also did the same back in the states. Nothing I have done works. I have went on a lot of dates and met a lot of girls. I also did a lot of bad things when I got shot down (we all know that anything you want is right around the corner in the far east). I have come to the realization that it is just not meant to be for me to find someone here. Until I am in decent shape(I'm 6'3 270), I will never be loved or find love. That's just the honest truth. I have been riding my bicycle everyday for a month. So perhaps after next June I will be attractive enough. I don't blame the women like I used to. Its me. It has to be. To be rejected that many times it means I am the one that has to change. Life isn't fair and love isn't easy. But I won't give up hope that she is out there somewhere. Because if she isn't then why bother? Those all too familiar words are so heart wrenching. But I am glad I had the courage to say what I had to.