we've all got scars ..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lnr19, Mar 25, 2008.

  1. lnr19

    lnr19 New Member

    Hi. Just call me Anne, I'm from Asia.

    Some of you might know how Asian families are, totally close and stuff... I dont want that at all. many times i just feel like screaming. my mom is my main problem, she's too old fashioned, too strict, too selfish, too self-righteous. is it mean to say i hate her?????

    i wasnt even allowed to have a boyfriend. when i was on highschool, she listens when im at the phone.

    we're really not okay. i havent told her i love her for like i dont know how long, and same as she. when the days are forgiving, she's okay and nice and the other times its jsut HELL. and i know its not worth it. im damned.

    she controls my life and i dont want to be controlled and frankly i want to pack up and leave. but if i do, that means, im going to leave this life i was so used to, my sisters, brothers and everything behind too. but im so sick of everything already!! we cant talk decently, because i (& most of my siblings) am afraid that she might scream at us and get angry resulting to her blood pressure springing up. she has hypertension so that's one of the reasons i cant oppose her because if i did and she had a heart attack then i they may blame me.

    she's really pissed at my pet cat now. she says she hopes that cat gets lost one day, and she wont even allow him inside the house. im afraid she'll one day let my cat out our gate or give it away while im not at home and i'll lost him. mom's that mean. am i over reacting??? is her actions normal???? should i lost my cat??? why does she need to do that?? my cat isnt doing anything that will cause trouble or will bother her.

    i want to leave. but where will i go.... im not sure im ready ....
    i hate her!!

    sorry for the wrong spelling/grammar, im really unstable now. been crying.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2008
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time at the moment, I hope things will improve for you and I hope that you will find what you need here, welcome to the forum :hug:
  3. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    How old are you?
    I suggest you to try to talk. Tell her everything you dont like about her, what hurts you, tell her that you want more freedom because you arent child no more.
    If this wont work, i can only suggest you to move out - this kind of things can be good cure for depression
  4. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :smile:

    If you don't feel like you can talk to her face to face, then you could maybe try writing a letter to her? It may be more helpful than trying to confront her, especially if you or her may get angry.

    Take care,
  5. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    :hug: Things sound rough for you at the moment...Have you tried telling her, sitting her down and telling her calmly why you need your space? She does sound insecure and unhappy herself and perhaps doesn't see you as separate from herself?
  6. lnr19

    lnr19 New Member

    Im 19 .. I tried telling her how i feel before, but she always misinterprets it. :( That's why im afraid to sit down and talk to her again ..

    Thank you guys for the reply, I actually felt better letting it out here.
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Take off when you feel you can, you will always be able to keep in touch with your siblings.