What a loser

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by evilperson, Oct 17, 2009.

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  1. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    If I die, nobody would come to my funeral other than my son and my parents. How sad. That's why I don't want to die - too little of them left in this world then.
  2. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    whats better 2 people who realy care about u...or so many/planty that care more less about u...belive i prfure one person who love & care about me its enough...& u have each other....some people like me dont have son or parents to care or come my funeral
  3. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    The only person who really cares about me and gives me cuddles when I need them, who appreciates me, is my son. My parents care but they can treat me horribly too, so they'll just make appearances.

    That's it, I've had enough. I'm going to go jump.
  4. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    calm down..i have nobody 2 :( thats life...it dosent desirve to die for
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    by the way everybody care about u here...and if u wanna ill be in ur funeral if u wanna..i realy care about u..so please dont be sad :'( please
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What's happening in your life right now that has brought you to this point? Please talk with us here. We'll walk with you through it.

  7. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    I just want to die.
  8. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I get that way too. Especially if I'm over whelmed and it seems there is no way out. I have learned another way to deal with it, I walk away from the mess and take care of my basic needs.

    Are you being treated by a doctor?
  9. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    I have a counsellor but she can't see me until the beginning of November. I do not have mental health problems that need treatment with medicine.

    I don't care anymore anyway. I can't take this anymore.
  10. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    I've being lying in bed and crying about it. Also I finally had a shower where I also just cried. I did some thinking.

    I imagined the scene whether my mum finds out about it and calls my dad and how heartbroken they would be. I couldn't do that to them. I imagined my son asking, why did the mummy that he loved so much leave? I don't think he would be able to cope with that.

    I can't do it. I'm not going to. It's just so hard.
  11. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    But then I think.....there's no hope for the future.....what am I waiting for? For things to get better? they never will.
  12. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    It’s selfish for people to not want you to die, but never visit or call or have time to see you in more than a year when they only live ten minutes away. - something I completely agree with!
  13. OceanBlue2

    OceanBlue2 Member

    You know that I think the same things? Do you know how many people TRULY care for you? Reaching out...that's what extends that life line just a bit further. Just a little bit for you to hang onto until you go through another day. Try to start counting those things you wouldn't have if you weren't here...you may not recognize it (and I'm surely in your place), but I hold onto the small things. The smell of Autumn. The leaves turning. Children playing. I wish I could go back and do it ALL over again, but it's a new chapter, just waiting for the pages to be written upon. PLEASE, if I'm in the same boat as you, just join me.
  14. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Let's take a tour of hell together:laugh:.

    I sure would miss it all. I would miss my son. I would miss the feel of water on my skin. The love I feel sometimes when I'm out in nature.

    More than anything I would miss the things I am looking forward to. Finishiny my degree. Finally having a car. Living in a nice house and having a nice job.

    I would miss the immediate things I like. I would miss playing with my son, painting with him, gardening, laughing, sharing jokes. I would miss hearing about his day and listening to a shy boy talking about his crush. I would miss reading academic articles which I really enjoy. I would miss my job and the joy I feel when I'm standing in front of my class taking a lesson. I would miss it all. I would miss having enough money to travel the world. I would miss having another child. I would miss buying a dog.

    Don't get me wrong. I really don't want to go. I really have a lot to live for.

    Just........no friends. No real friends, not the ones that aren't hanger oners and just use you for something. Nobody that has my back. Complete loneliness, nobody to talk, nobody to cry to. It's tough.

    Please keep supporting me......I've got to keep walking through. I haven't yet finished with this world.
  15. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    People 'don't care' because they're ignorant, not because you're especially bad or anything. I can guarantee that those people who have a ton of people that supposedly 'care'....that's not real. Those people don't really care about each other, its usually superficial. And even if they do somewhat, its usually not enough that they would stick together if something disastrous happened, etc.

    Sure, people would come to each others funerals. Because its the socially acceptable thing to do. But I know you don't mean it literally like that. I just can't stress enough how most friendships have little substance, and even those with substance are often lacking in some departments and not totally open. Perhaps because a lot don't have something truly emotional happen for most of their life. Oh they might have something minorly jarring for awhile, but not something that actually changes their perspective.

    I'm not sure how you're going to take this, honestly. It's definitely a hard thing to believe. But in all seriousness, I am absolutely 100% certain that this coldness you feel isn't limited to just you. It's in pretty much everyone, they just don't feel it yet.
  16. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    Sorry, not to rude, but I really didn't understand what you meant???

    Feel bad again. Seriously, all I want is a little intimacy, love, TLC. Well, my son cuddles and loves me....but you knwo what I mean.....an adult...somebody's shoulder to cry on. You know....:sad::hugtackles:
  17. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    Oh, that's fine. Don't worry about it. Anyway, what I was saying is that a lot of people, the majority in fact, lack empathy. Meaning, a lot of what you see out the world with people having others there is shallow. Even if sometimes there is some depth to it, you know. I've seen it over and over again. When things go horribly wrong, peoples true colors are revealed. Often this is just because they're not really used to empathizing.

    If I'm still confusing you though, ask whatever questions you want. I'm not offended : )
  18. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    Oh wow I can so relate to that! But isn't that the definition of sociopathy? Are you saying that the majority of the human population are sociopaths? Was it always like this, or just right now?
  19. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    Well, not sociopaths. Just ignorant and lacking in true emotional connection, even if they have feelings and whatnot. Like, as in that most of the things you see in the real world are superficial/lacking. Sociopaths have no feelings and in addition often act immorally as a result of a twisted belief system. I don't think I meant no feelings, just fairly lacking relationships and a false sense of fulfillment due to ignorance.
  20. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I agree with you HawthornePassage, most people don't really care about other peoples problems. There are still reasons for this though. Like for example, someone may feel they don't know how to help a person, so they'll leave it to someone else who can. Or maybe they simply aren't in the mood to hear something depressing. And the main one is that no matter how much empathy we have, we can't truly feel what they are feeling, and maybe don't realise how much they needs help. Everybody has problems of their own, and usually they are big enough that we don't have time for other peoples problems, unless they are close friends or family members.

    Besides, most people think that they are the helpful ones, and its others that don't have time to help people. Ask yourself, if you saw a homeless person on the street, would you give him money? If you saw someone broke down on the side of the road, would you stop and help them? I wouldn't, because someone else will, sooner or later. I know its not the same as a friend helping a friend in need, but it still get the message across. Even so, there are plenty of people out there that will help anybody, and put all their efforts into it.

    Personally I don't care. I'm an adult and I am supposed to support myself. Any help that i get for whatever problem I have is simply a bonus.
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