it's a pile of crap being a no-talent piece of shit like me. I literally can't do ANYTHING right; all I do is fuck things up horribly. I can't do anything for myself no matter how hard I try. I'm a joke of a human being and literally the most useless human being ever forced into this pile of god-crap. My life is like a terrible joke with no real punchline; the only way I'll EVER feel better is when I'm nothing but ash. It's only a matter of time until the wrong thing happens or someone says the wrong thing to me and I'm dead. FUCKING DEAD! FUCKING FINALLY!!! I think I get it though - if everyone were happy and satisfied then this world would be a boring place... there'd be nothing to compare the beauty and happiness to. Why me though? If it WERE to be me, why could I just not feel anything and enjoy being walked all over by life and being a subpar loser who is never going to achieve jack shit? I don't get it. Maybe it's just fate making a mistake combined with bad serendipity I suppose. In real life, losers like me are not happy being the first RPG monster to be beaten for the sake of n00b experience points. Ernest P. Worrell ends up on welfare or in the looney bin. The nerd ends up alone for the rest of their life. The poor get poorer and the rich get richer. The revolution never happens and those with artistic temperament that can't achieve gets sent to the Ministry of Love in room 101 and gets tormented back to normalcy. I just wish I were never born if I have to be all over the place instead of some happy lobotomized failure simpleton. Then again, everything I ask for in life is always too much... hell, the only thing that makes me happy is the fact that I might die tomorrow and all the pointless, meaningless, endless pain and bullshit will be gone.