What about me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bigman2232, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Everything I do is for someone else or for some other reason that I really don't want.

    I have to act one way or another for them so that they aren't freaked out, scared or whatever other feeling that I may cause them. I've been pretending for so long I don't even know who I am.

    I've tried to due things that I enjoy but it's currently blowing up in my face. I wanted to play football because I enjoy it, it would help me get in shape and most importantly because I wanted to have some fun. But now I just hate it.

    I don't fit in with the over the top screaming and immature antics of many of the players. I work all day in the sun doing physical labour and just don't have anything left to practice at night and I feel like I just do things because otherwise I'll get yelled at.

    It's all just adding up to the familiar feeling of "what's the point"? I'm not doing things because I want to but rather simply going through the motions because this is what is expected of me.

    I have a job. I got a car. I joined a team. I've graduated University. So what?

    I also have no fun, no friends and no idea what to do or even what I would like to do. It's just meh
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sorry your feeling so down about things even after all your accomplishments. Time to look at things that use to bring you enjoyment happiness and try them again. Camping boating anything you can remember that brought you joy Even if you think it is lame try it again okay see if you can rekindle that joy that once was.
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know where you come I really do. My roommate has dubbed me his surrogate umm provider. Provider of food, entertainment, females, everything. I have to throw up a facade. If I do anything that could be construed as I am depressed or annoyed sets him off into a depression. I cannot have any time to myself. Nor do I have any support. If I do not appear to be happy he is gone.

    Same thing with activities I relate. I am trying to attend a club. However, it is hard since I am the Only person my age there. Everyone else is older or younger than me by a lot. Plus no women does not help either.

    If I may be so bold. I know you say you do not have the energy however try and embrace the culture of the team. I mean you may find that you have more energy than you realize.
     
  4. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I can 100% relate to this. I feel exactly the same way, literally living for other people.

    I wish I had the answer for you, but all I can do is repeat what violet said:
    You need to find your own life to live. I'm currently trying to do this before I go insane and I know it's not easy when you have no energy, but I'm hoping it'll get easier as I enjoy things more.

    You sound as though you have lost your identity. I would like to suggest that maybe you try some new things you've never done before, even if you think you won't like it. Like maybe join an art class, or a chess club, that sort of thing. You'll probably think 'no way, that's stupid, it's not me', but at the moment you don't know who you are, andyou may not only discover a hidden piece of yourself that you may grow to love, but you'll make some new friends too. It's got to be worth a shot.

    I hope things improve for you, I really do. Please just remember that you're not alone. Reading your post I felt it could have been written by myself (except the football part, I hate football!).

    Mim
     
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Many people feel like this. Define fun? Is it going out doing things that are hazardous to your health and others? No, you have a passion inside you, and you just have to discover it is all. I know you can do it! Start thinking about things that YOU would like to do. What have you always been interested in?What was your childhood dream?Blessings..