What am I doing here?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by katie28, Jan 11, 2011.

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  1. katie28

    katie28 New Member

    Ok, I'm new, I want to share my story, but just ended up accidentally deleting the last one I was about to post, so I'll list it in points:

    1. I believe most of my problembs stem from my severel unhealthy relationship with food.
    2. I'm too scared to tell anyone about my ED as I don't think they wild understand or take me seriously.
    3. I'm different. I can't explain it to anyone because they don't know who I really am ns how I really feel. I feel abnormal and empty and everyone else is a machine. I just don't understand how anyone can be comftable living in this world.
    4. I lost my friends. All of them, they disappeared from me so suddenly sometimes I begin to imagine them dead.
    5. I don't feel real.
    6. I'm scared of death, but I'm paralysed by the though of growing old and waiting for it. I'm scared that I'll drift through life, and fail when I'm supposedly destined to succeed.
    7 I want people to know how I felt. Suicide feels like the only way in which I cn express that to everyone.
    8. I'm too scared to ask for help, as I won't be able to tell them about my ED so they'll never be able to 'get to the bottom of it', as they say.

    There's much more like my self harm, anxiety, grades, lack of self esteem, but I believe it's all got to do with my EDNOS ( eating disorder not otherwise specified ). I just want to know if anyone else has struggled with any of the above things. If so please help!
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member


    i think that there is an eating disorders forum here, so you might want to check that out

    you might be able to connect with people here and talk about your feelings. i think that most people are uncomfortable with talking about suffering and difficulties, but people here come to talk about these things.

    i hope that things get better and that suicide forum helps you a lot!
  3. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    wow, feel so alike on the others are machines part. and the future thought and everything, it seems plucked from my mind. what kind of eating disorder do you have, do you eat too much or too little
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