what am i doing?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by slim_to_none, May 10, 2007.

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  1. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    i dont know anymore.
    ive been plotting and planning.
    organising everything.
    and because of a fit of rage just before i blew my plans.

    i'd planned how i was going to die.
    now im probably just going to suffer and end up in emergency.

    im so annoyed.
    i should be scared.
    but im not.

    and the worst part.
    im IP.
    i did a runner last night to get what i needed.

    im struggling.
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Are you all right? I guess not in general, but physically?
  3. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member


    i did take the OD. spent the night in emergency.
    physically im fine.
    mentally im not.

    but im back in the IP facility now.

    i hate having survived yet again.

    but thank you for caring.

  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  5. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear that. Could you be as kind to tell what it is like in IP? No need to tell exactly where you are but how it looks and feels like. Not very neat I should imagine. Hospitals are usually really dull places. They need to make them so clean and safe that interior decorators cannot survive half an hour inside a hospital without having a heart attack. I bet there is a secret facility for caring for interior decorators somewhere they don't tell to the public about because then everyone would want to go there instead.
  6. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    describing IP. yipes. okay.
    there are two different types of IP over here (aust), we have voluntary facilities (where i am) which are privately run / owned, etc. and involuntarily admission ones. ive done both.

    the public system ones are actually disgusting. you walk in and there is always without fail the horrid smell of body odor amoungst other disgusting smells. the food is just plain old hospital food. (ie - gunk on a plate). and the places tend to look like they're from the dark ages, and thats where the sicker people tend to go. ive been once, and the nurses were wonderful. strong people. great. but the patients on the other hand. scared me. (i am only a very small person). and watching punch-ons in the lounge area over a tv show is not fun.

    but the private system. like where i am. is lovely. most private hospitals they've actually taken the time to make the places appealing visually (even though psych hosptials suck). here i have a single room with a bathroom, my own private doctor comes around once every day. and there are limited beds here. its hard to get into.

    i know i have a photo of an IP room at this place, ill have a hunt and post a link for you. :)

    hope the info helps somewhat. even if to deter you from ever being in a psych ward.

  7. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    found a photo of a room in a private IP facility.

    also, in the private system the nurses tend to be better qualified, and the patients are not as unwell as they are in the public system.

    random room in IP facility

    hope thats answered your questions.
    pm me if you want to know more.
  8. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    slim to none,
    Am thinking about u. don't really have the right words to say now.
    Send me a PM if u need!
    The only thing I hated in hospitals were rules, esp. early wake up times.
    Hope you can ask nurse or worker for paper to journal some of your thoughts.
  9. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    ill send you a pm TLA.

    i write a journal online. i'd be screwed if i didnt.
    thanks hun.
  10. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That looks rather comfy actually. Around here there used to really nice mental institutions. There were grand hundred years old buildings that had large gardens around them. Really places where one could imagine one could actually rest, but they were too expensive and luxurious for just storing crazy people. The state sold them. One that I know of will be a congress centre. That should tell how people think about crazy people: "You just don't get crazy! Simple as that."
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