Despite countless hours of trying to better myself... I completely broke down again. Every time I try to prepare myself for the future... I am reminded that I am incompetent and it is to late. I have no fucking interest in living in a world where those who fucked my life up aren't brought to justice. I have no intest in living in a world where I am anything but successful NOW. I can't start over again... I have no desire to live in a world where depression kicks my ass to this point... I can't think about anything long term if this is a part of me. Death is my only solution... but I can't let my family hurt by knowing they lost me to suicide... guess once my free ride is gone ill die on the streets... that was my destiny all along.