Hey there. I'm writing here because I feel like I only have two options of what I'm going to do in life now, one of them being suicide. A bit of backstory is due first. All my life I put up with bullying, neglect and alienation in school. I found it difficult to make friends and many people used me as their target for bullying, even friends I thought I trusted for a long time. After passing my GCSEs with fairly good grades, I met a girl on the internet during the summer. She was really like me, made me feel good, liked me back. We spoke a lot for a month about general chit-chat, kept eachother happy. She vanished for 2 months and I realized how madly in love I was with her. For two months I suffered severe depression, feeling unable to do much or anything other than talk to people about her. I didn't cut myself at that point, but I begin to drink more and more alchohol and developed a problem. At the end of the two months, the girl came back. I told her I loved her and while she was a little estranged at first, she accepted it and over time began to love me back just as much. We spoke for a week and I went to Florida for 2 weeks, over which I began to suffer anxiety and depression from not being able to see her. I told my family and my parents about her and my internet life, I hoped it'd stop the fighting and they'd accept me. They weren't very enthusiastic and upon returning home, my mother began to get more and more aggressive towards me and wanted to cut me away from this girl. She told me she was having the same problem, she was cutting herself and such, running away, I wanted to help her as much as I could. Eventually it got to the point my mother literally began screaming in my face, throwing full cans at me, destroying my stuff. I had a mental breakdown and she didn't care, called me useless, lazy, insane. During this, she was forcing me to choose a job, despite me clearly not being a state to, and continued the verbal abuse and swearing. I waited till she went to work and took a knife, I cut my left wrist open. I couldn't talk to her, she wouldn't listen, so obviously I had to make her realize through other means. After doing this, I ran away from home and have stayed at my cousin's over the weekend, talking to my girlfriend and my other internet friends about the problem. They all want to help me out, they're worried I'm going to kill myself, and so am I. I was forced to come home and my mother won't listen to a thing I've said. She wants to separate me from this girl despite the fact I really do love her, she wants to monitor everything I do on the internet, she wants to force me away from it and make me associate with people outside, and the people around here are nothing like me. They're all chavs or aren't internet-smart, I can't fit in. They're going to watch and control everything I do with my life now, and I can't live like that. I -need- privacy, I -need- to be able to stay up late to talk to my girlfriend, I -need- the internet. The environment where I live just depresses me, I can't live here. My only solution is that I want to try and take a friend's offer when I turn 16 this November. He told me he'd buy me a ticket to California, get me a place to stay with him and find me a job until I can further my education. Not only does this bring me closer to my girlfriend, it means I can live in an environment I enjoy and get by in life with someone who understands and is like me. He'd bring me closer to my dream of meeting Liz. I don't know how to go about this though, how I'd make it to the airport and get there, but I think if I don't I'm going to end up just killing myself because I cannot live like this. Legally there is nothing stopping me once I'm 16, all I need to do is make it to the airport, get settled in and he'd help me get US citizenship. If I can't do that I need to go somewhere with one of these friends, because if I stay here I can't escape my family. I've been starving myself, I want to cut myself again and if I'm forced to live like this I'm tempted to just kill myself off, because I don't think I'll get the future I want like this. Help me out.