okay. im here because im terribly depressed from which i think there isnt going to be an escape from. i havnt posted here for a while, but that dosnt matter. ive sunken lower than that. before i actually had a stroke of hope and happiness about me, but i think my last straw is up, or close to being up. i never really engaged in self harming activities, but after this amount of time feeling nothing but hatred, jelousy, anger, confussion, and what not.. the knife starts to look real tempting. you sit in your room at the end of your bed, swiss army knife just on the edge of the desk and think to yourself "mmm, i could really go that right now" make no mistake about it, i have hurt myself as a last revenue of pain releif. no sports, singing, music, alcohol, or anything has been of any use but im stuck in limbo you see.. i want to commit suicide. i want to die. but i would never put my family and friends through similar pain because i know how bad it feels. i dont want anyone to feel what i gotta feel when i am like this. what do i do???